A Crimson Sky
by LycheeLove
Summary: Gilbert Beilschmidt, an elite soldier, goes on a mission to infiltrate an enemy fortress and rescue a scientist, Matthew Williams. At first sight he tells the scientist, "I'll definitely protect you." And Matthew couldn't help but fall in love. AU Prussia x Canada
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes: Scientist Matthew Williams has been kidnapped! Gilbert Beilschmidt, an elite soldier, must infiltrate the enemy fortress and rescue him. AU Prussia x Canada

Shamelessly based heavily on the manga My Life With You. It's such a cute and beautiful manga! The art is gorgeous; I can just stare at it for hours. Anyway the characters reminded me so much of Canada and Prussia, I mean come one, a soldier and a blond glasses-wearing guy? I couldn't help but think of them the whole time I was reading. Anyway, the story's going to be based a lot on the manga with a few minor tweaks and changes. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You. Both Mangas belong to their respective owners.

Chapter 1

* * *

_It was only when I saw your silhouette against the gold and crimson sky, yelling and crying at me to stay alive, did I see how truly beautiful you are. _

* * *

4 years earlier

88%

"Come on, come _on_…"

The room was dark; the only light visible came from a computer screen that illuminated the face of a seated figure. Apart from low mutterings, the sound of rapid taps from the keyboard filled the dark room. The figure, with his features bathed under a flickering blue-white light, was a scientist; the room, a lab.

The inconsistent light did nothing to the scientist's features however. Under closer inspection, his hair, a faint gradient of yellow and gold, fell in soft waves just below his chin and framed a slight, but well-defined face. A curled strand of hair never seemed to leave the front of his face. His eyes, hidden behind glasses, were a curious shade of violet and produced a rather entrancing effect upon anyone who so happened to see them. Long eyelashes and a full mouth gave the boy a feminine visage, but nonetheless, he was beautiful.

90%

"Come on, come on…" the scientist muttered once again. His violet eyes followed a bar that slowly crawled across the computer screen. Biting his bottom lip, the scientist held his breath and stared at the words _sending transmission_, which continued to blink on the screen as the bar finished completion.

"Hey doctor."

91%

At the sound of a voice, the scientist nearly jumped out of his seat and let out a yelp of surprise. "What are you doing so late at night?" the guard flipped a switch and flooded the room with more fluorescent blue-white light.

"Just fixing up some code…" the scientist tried to sound calm, normal. His actions appeared to be the complete opposite however as they flew frantically across the keyboard trying to hide the transmission which he knew would get him in major trouble.

94%

Boots squeaked across tile; the man, a guard by the looks of his uniform, was walking towards the scientist. The scientist's fingers clacked with more fervor as the guard was coming closer to the screen. "What are you doing here?" he tried to ask casually.

The guard grinned. No, smirked. Slowly setting his gun on a nearby table, he replied, "visiting you of course."

The scientist could feel dread settling on himself. His eyes were on the guard, but he was glancing at the screen as well. "Oh, well I'm working right now so maybe you could visit another time?" his tone was hopeful, but he knew the hope was futile. The guard was not going to leave. The scientist was only trying to stall the inevitable action that would take place.

97%

"You have a sense of humor doc," the guard walked determinedly toward the scientist now, "and I don't remember the chief telling you to fix anything."

98%

The scientist tried to feign and indignant persona, "Well you don't have to know everything about me." His eyes darted to the screen again while his face remained turned to the guard.

"But I do don't I? I know _everything_ about that body of yours."

99%

The scientist shivered at the guard's words. Still, he managed to refute, "You don't know everything."

"Enough." The guard commanded, and in a swift motion he pulled the computer's power cord, effectively shutting it down.

"Hey!" came the scientist's yell. Already he could feel despair and disappointment. The transmission had not finished.

"No more talking doc," the guard quickly grabbed the scientist's hands and tied them behind his back. "You _will_ cooperate today." Glasses fell to the floor. The scientist's head was pushed down on the desk and the guard began stripping the man's lab coat, shirt, and pants.

The scientist could feel tears stinging his eyes. Not only at the humiliation, but despair that his chance for rescue had failed.

* * *

"This is Dr. Matthew Williams," General Beildschmidt started as he held up a picture of the doctor.

_He looks young, _was the string of thought that ran through Gilbert's mind as he gazed at his new mission. Blond, glasses, and eyes a curious shade of violet. _Kinda looks like France_, he thought off handedly.

"He has been missing for over 3 years, we have only recently received an SOS from a base in Siberia. I have brought together this small taskforce to rescue and retrieve the man," Ludwig recited the mission as normal, just another protocol. The team stood straight and attentive listening to the German.

"This mission is highly classified, therefore I have called your small team of specialists. The mission is simple, infiltrate the base and rescue the missing scientist."

Ludwig looked at Gilbert, "Prussia and Spain, you will be the infiltrating team," and then he turned his head, "France and Netherlands will be the backup. Read your mission files for the rest of the details. Dismissed!" The team saluted, "Yes sir!" and left the office.

"What's wrong France?" Spain asked the troubled looking man as they walked out. "Matthew Williams… I know him. He's my cousin. I haven't seen him in ages though, I didn't know…" France's eyebrows knitted anxiously.

Prussia patted France on the back, "Don't worry man, we'll definitely get him back."

"Yeah." The usually boisterous and flamboyant Frenchman was unusually quiet for once.

"But doesn't he look to young to be a doctor?" Prussia thought of the photo his brother showed them. Netherlands shook his head, "He may not look it, but he's a genius. He hacked through Russia's highest security system, sent out an SOS, and provided the layout of the base and communication systems."

Prussia only nodded in acknowledgment.

* * *

"Prussia, are you there?" Gilbert heard his brother's voice through his mic. "Yeah West, what is it?"

"It's Germany while we're on a mission!" Despite being pushed up against a cold metal wall trying to infiltrate the enemy base, Prussia chuckled to himself and smirked, "Yeah yeah, what is it _Germany_?" He emphasized his brother's codename.

His brother gave an audible sigh, "We have been able to pinpoint the doctor's exact location from the SOS he gave us. Your location is closest so I am sending you the coordinates now."

"Gotcha," Prussia looked at the red dot blinking on his gps watch. They had already dodged and knocked out a few guards so now all they had to do was find the doctor.

Prussia checked through the rooms moving closer to the location, he held his gun in his hands ready to shoot at any moment. He and Spain had split up when they had infiltrated the base in order to cover more ground. France and Netherlands were outside the base keeping guard and in a helicopter waiting for the retreat.

Looking at the blinking dot again, Gilbert realized he had found the target. He searched the room and found a crouched figure in the corner of what looked like a lab.

"Dr. Matthew Williams!" He called out.

Matthew visibly jumped up in shock and let out a yelp of surprise.

"Woah, calm down, I'm from the special ops and we're here to rescue you." He held up his gun and hands to show he meant no harm. It wasn't a surprise Matthew was so shocked, with Gilbert's white hair, red eyes, and gun in hand, he wasn't exactly a welcoming sight.

"W-what?" Matthew's eyes went wide as the soldier reached for his arm to help him up.

"We received your SOS, and we're here to get you out."

Matthew mumbled something and looked close to crying.

"Did you say something?" Prussia looked at the teary scientist. Matthew's voice was so quiet, like a whisper. "I thought the transmission failed, I was interrupted when I sent it."

"Well you were wrong Dr. Williams," Prussia grinned proudly, "Come on, let's get you out of here."

"Just call me Matt," the scientist said as Prussia turned around to scour the area for any incoming guards.

"Germany, Prussia reporting, I've acquired the target. We're heading out right now."

"Prussia?" Matthew questioned inquisitively.

"Yes, its my codename I use for missions… hey what the hell are you doing!" Gilbert turned back around to see Matthew stripping his lab coat and shirt, revealing pale skin, and a slight frame.

"Mr. Prussia," he revealed a bomb attached to his chest "I can't just leave. If I do, the sensor will trigger the bomb and the whole base will explode."

Gilbert sighed as he inspected the device. The bomb was fastened to his chest by a black brace. He leaned in closer to have a look, taking Matthew by surprise, as his face was inches away from Matthew's. Gilbert fingered the choker-like thing on the scientist's neck.

"A trigger sensor huh? You must be really important then if they're willing to destroy the base for you. What's the choker for?" Matthew tilted his head to the side to let Gilbert examine the bomb. "What idiot would design a bomb like this anyway?"

"My colleagues and I did," Matthew, in a quiet voice, explained unapologetically.

Gilbert looked up from the choker, "Hah, sorry." He offered a half smile.

Matthew continued, "If you try to rip the choker, it will shoot a long needle and kill me. The bomb's also programmed so it can't be hacked." He gave a sad smile, _I should know, I designed it._

Gilbert pondered a bit, "Then all I have to do is disable the sensor right?"

Matthew gaped at the man, "Are you sure you can do that? What if you get us killed?"

"Trust me, I'm awesome. I'll definitely protect you with my life." Gilbert held out a hand. His face and disposition held such confidence and certainty; Matthew couldn't help but believe the white-haired soldier.

Matthew smiled and took his hand, "I trust you then."

Prussia and Matthew suddenly heard footsteps. "I've got a plan. Stay calm okay Matt?"

The door slid open and a guard came in. "Hey doc, it's me."

"What do you want?" Matthew asked, he had quickly put on his lab coat and had his back turned to the guard pretending to work on the computer.

The guard approached Matthew and smirked, "Just came in to check up on you," he grabbed Matt's shoulder and turned him around. The guard saw Matt shirtless, the bomb exposed.

"Well what do we have here?" The guard grabbed Matt's arm and forced him to turn around, pointing the gun to his chin. "Doctor, you should know better than anyone that the bomb can't be removed."

Matthew swallowed looking down at the gun pointed to his chin, "You won't tell the colonel right?"

The guard grinned evilly, "That depends, the colonel is already really angry the U.N. is pressuring us to release you," he lowered his gun and begun sucking on Matthew's neck, quickly removing the lab coat.

"Hey! What are you doing? Let go!" Matthew tried weakly to resist but was held in place by the guard's grip.

The guard pulled on Matthew's hair forcing him to look up, "You know I can shoot your knees so you can't escape." The gun was back under his chin and Matt could feel the pressure of the cold metal on his skin.

He swallowed again and made himself look at the guard. "O-okay! I'll do whatever you want, just please don't shoot."

"Good boy," the guard began to suck on Matt's neck again and pushed him back against the table. "B-but could you take off the choker please? I'm too scared it will go off!"

"I won't take it off," the guard said as his hands moved across Matthew's pale abdomen. "Please, I'm scared, I don't want to die! I'll do anything, so please…"

Matthew begged as he tried to meet the guard's eyes. "Fine."

The guard removed the choker using a special "key" and laid it on the table. Matthew silently let out a sigh of relief.

Still holding his gun, the guard commanded, "Pants off, hands on the wall." Matthew stood up to comply when, as quickly as lightning, Prussia appeared behind the guard.

"Sorry, but I can't let you do that." The guard had barely anytime to say "What?" When Prussia hit him in the head and knocked him out.

After confirming the guard was out cold, Prussia looked up at Matt, "Good job Matt, you did great!"

Matthew just stood there for a few moments speechless before he collapsed on the floor.

"Hey, are you okay? Can you stand?" Prussia kneeled down in front of the doctor. "The bomb's disabled, we should go now." It was then he noticed Matthew was shaking and tears were coming out of his violet eyes.

_He looks so fragile, _Gilbert noted as he reached his hand toward the boy. _He has probably reached his limit. I wonder what kind of humiliation he must have gone through, and pain he must have felt watching his comrades die…_

Prussia carefully wiped the tears off Matthew's face, and made a dangerous action. He told him his real name.

"Matt, my name is Gilbert Beildschmidt. But this is a top secret mission, so you can't tell anyone." Gilbert's face was softer now, kind.

Matthew looked up at Gilbert and rubbed his eyes before saying, "Okay Gilbert, I won't tell anyone." And he returned a sweet smile.

* * *

My first fanfiction ever! What do you think? Should I continue or is it too much of the manga to be interesting? Reviews would be very much appreciated. And I apologize for any of the technical mistakes I made/make (e.g. the army, special ops missions, etc.). I am not an expert in these things. Also, I am planning on making only the beginning of the two similar, the plot will be different from the manga later on.


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes: Wow I'm so confused with how to upload things here… Anyway, I've decided to continue with my story, yayyy~ ahaa. So I have a question for you, have you every heard/read/learnt something about history and then it talks about countries and then you characterize the countries as aph characters, and then you go squee? Yeah, that happens a lot for me… So! On with the story! Oh, and I do not encourage smoking!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners.

**Chapter 2**

* * *

_I still remember the day you decided to be with me, the time you came up to me and told me I was your hero. I didn't know at the time, but it was a subtle love confession. I wish I could have said something then._

* * *

Light filtered through half open blinds upon a figure. Disheveled silver hair shown under the morning light and bloodshot crimson eyes opened. He rose painfully, waking from a nightmare.

_I broke protocol again. _Gilbert brought his hands to his face and then ran his fingers through his hair. He thought of the scientist they had rescued. He thought of how vulnerable the boy had looked. _Like a little bird._

Then his thoughts drifted to the boy's features. On the way back to base, the scientist had fallen asleep. Gilbert took that time to observe the way his hair gradually changed color as it neared the roots and the boy's long eyelashes hidden behind lenses. He certainly was beautiful.

France had tenderly wrapped the scientist in a blanket and made him as comfortable as possible. The similarity in their wavy hair made Gilbert think of how odd it was that the person they rescued was Francis' cousin. A strange coincidence, but he didn't think much of it. Anyway, they had to bring to boy to a hospital; three years of malnourishment in Siberia needed professional care.

Gilbert closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to get ready for today. So he got up and temporarily abandoned his thoughts of the beautiful scientist.

* * *

It was almost a week after they had rescued Matthew. Their morning had been spent training but they were doing nothing now except lounging around and smoking. That was, until they heard Matt.

"Excuse me!" Matt's quiet voice actually rose above a whisper.

Gilbert turned around to see Matt approaching them. He couldn't say he was unhappy to see the scientist though. Actually, he was excited to see him.

"Yo, Matt," Gilbert greeted.

"Hi Gilbert," Matt responded, his voice had reverted back to its soft tone, "Uhm… there was something I wanted to tell you."

"Mathieu! How cruel, you do not even say hello to me!" Francis complained.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you," Matt blushed a little in embarrassment. But to his defense, Francis _was _standing behind Gilbert. "Hey Francis," he offered an apologetic smile, "Antonio, Lars," he greeted the other two soldiers in turn believing it was rude to ignore them as well. He received nods of acknowledgement.

"I'll forgive you because you're cute," he winked while blowing a flying kiss towards the boy.

"So what brought you here to base?" Gilbert interrupted.

"I work here now," Matthew swallowed, embarrassed at the next words he would say, "today, tomorrow, five years from now, as long as you're here so am I." Hearing such bold words from someone like Matt would be strange to people who knew him, and even though Gilbert had only known the guy for a little over a day, he was surprised.

Gilbert let out some smoke from the side of his mouth and let one of his eyebrows raise. "Why?"

Still blushing, continued saying, "Well, in order to work in the same base as you, I got qualified as an operator in the ground communication system, so I left my post in DARPA*. Now I'm doing research in satellite image processing and telecommunications."

There was a slight pause after which he added in an even softer almost inaudible tone, "I mean to say, I'm a really big fan of yours…" Matthew's violet eyes looked down now.

Amazingly, all four of the men heard Matthew's little confession. Gilbert almost dropped his cigarette.

Francis cocked an eyebrow and let out a low whistle. _A strange development_, he thought to himself.

His mouth formed into a goofy smile, Antonio teased, "I wish Lovino was that honest."

Lars whistled first, and then chuckled, letting out a long drag of his cigarette.

"Ah, that didn't come out right," Matt blushed at the realization and waved his hands as if trying to erase his words.

"Uhm, I mean, you saved me, so… yeah that's it…'' the roar of a helicopter drawing closer made his voice fade for a moment.

"You're a hero! At least to me you're my hero!" Although Matt had raised his voice again to a normal one, Gilbert still had to strain his ears to hear the words.

The helicopter's blades sliced through the air, creating gusts of wind and sound waves. It was odd, but for a moment time seemed to slow. Gilbert could not hide the astonishment from his face but soon after he could only narrow his eyes.

He didn't say anything to Matt, he couldn't. _If only you knew…_ was the single thought running through his head as the helicopter had finally landed.

Gilbert scratched his head behind his ear, "I really don't know what to say," were the only words Gilbert could murmur.

It was only a moment, but Matt looked at Gilbert as if he wanted to ask if something was wrong. He didn't get to though because some men in suits called to Matt that they had to leave for the meeting.

"Coming!" he turned back to call.

Gilbert managed a smile, "Well I'll see you around, Matt."

"Yeah, okay," Matt beamed. He started to turn around to walk to the helicopter.

"It was really nice seeing all of you again. Goodbye, I'll see you later!" Once again Gilbert had to strain his ears to hear the man but he was able to hear enough of it to get the message.

Gilbert waved goodbye to the scientist. _He's so naïve…_

"_Ah, mon cher est tres doux n'est pas?" _ Francis easily slipped into his French.

"_Si, e inocente también," _Antonio too, said in Spanish.

"_Hij is als een kind,"_ the Dutchman noted.

"I don't understand a word any of you said," Gilbert lied. He understood a few words in their respective languages and got the basic gist of their remarks but for some reason feigned ignorance.

Gilbert lay in bed that night replaying Matthew's words in his head.

_A hero huh? That's only because you saw me as a brave and proud soldier on the battlefield. _

_If only you could see me in my nightmares._

* * *

-_A few months later_-

Gilbert walked into a well-lit room of computers, desks, files, a coffee table, and a couch.

"So this is your new lab," Gilbert looked around, taking the place in. "They really did give you everything!"

It was so strange how close they had become, Gilbert thought. After Matthew's little confession, he had begun to hang out with not only Gilbert, but the other soldiers as well. The scientist practically went to all their outings whenever they went downtown. Gilbert was surprised to find that Matthew could actually hold his liquor well.

"That's because they want me to spend every minute working on the new weapon," Matt explained as he tidied up a few files on one of the desks.

"Awesome!" Gilbert let himself on the couch.

Gilbert spotted a large blob of white fluff next to him, "What's this?" He poked the white mass thinking it some kind of pillow or something but was then astonished to see it move.

"Woah!" Gilbert jumped off the couch to see the "pillow" unroll itself, yawn, and then stare up at the stranger.

Matt giggled, "That's my bear, Kumajishi." He picked up the bear and gave him a tight squeeze. Matt proceeded to walk across the lab to what looked like a _real_ pillow and placed the sleepy bear on top of it.

Gilbert had a rather incredulous look on his face, "A _bear?"_

"Yeah, do you have any pets?" Matt spoke as if having a mini polar bear as a pet was completely normal and commonplace.

Gilbert decided to let it go, "A bird, but that's it. What?" Matthew had an odd look on his face at the mention of a bird.

"No, it's just… I think it's funny how someone like you has a pet bird. You look like you should own guard dogs or something," Gilbert could sense the laughter in Matt's voice.

"Hah, no. That's my brother," Gilbert settled back on the couch, "Anyway, nice place, wait till the girls hear about this!"

Matt suddenly seemed a little uncomfortable and uneasy as he sat next to Gilbert.

"Uhm…" he couldn't look at Gilbert and instead kept his eyes on the floor playing with his hands.

"Gilbert, I haven't told you, but…" Matt paused again, unwilling to disclose his words. They had known each other for a while and yet Matthew didn't know how the soldier would react. "I'm not interested in women so…" he turned his face away from Gilbert to hide his flushed face.

"Hey. Hey!" Gilbert placed his hand on Matt's shoulder trying to make the guy face him. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Matt shifted to stared at Gilbert in disbelief, as if his words were completely unexpected.

When he could finally find his voice again, he stuttered, "R-really? I have been worrying about how you would react if you found out, are you sure?" He had thought it through and figured it was best to tell Gilbert first before the other guys. His head was to the ground again and his hand was on his eyes as if trying to prevent himself from crying.

"Hey, my brother has been in love with the same Italian boy since they were five. Toni's is dating that Italian's brother. And Francis…" Gilbert paused, "you know how he is. I'm used to it, trust me." He had not mentioned Lars because he was actually unsure of the man's preference. Gilbert had never seen him with anyone and the Dutchman never disclosed such information.

Matt still looked doubtful, "I was so scared you would shun me…" Matt's barely audible voice was softer than usual.

Gilbert pulled Matt closer to him so the man could calm down a bit.

_Matt, you give me way more credit then I deserve. I'm not half the man you think I am._

* * *

"_Hey, there's a change of plan," another man with a gun said through the door. "If he's not talking, kill him. He's no use to us." _

_Another man held up a pistol, "Well then, this is your last interrogation." _

_Gilbert's body was bruised and bloody. His arms were chained above his head to the ceiling. He gritted his teeth and stared at the gun in the man's hand. _Damnit, if you're going to kill me do it already! Just kill me! _ Gilbert's eyes screamed what his mouth could not._

"_Ah, I'm sure we can get some information out of him, da?" the biggest man in the room asked. The smile his on his face was deceiving, even with a ridicules looking water pipe in his hand, the giant looked positively evil._

Gilbert jumped up out of bed crying and panting. He covered his face with his hands to wipe away the tears. Holding his head, trying to even his breathing, Gilbert once again thought of Matt.

_I'm just a coward. I'm not even supposed to be alive! I should be dead. _Gilbert rubbed his temple, too many thoughts going through his head.

* * *

Second chapter. Good? Bad? Reviews are much welcome. Anyway, I'm thinking of posting up the third chapter right after this one so wait for it! Thanks so much for reading my fanfic (:

DARPA – Defense Advance Research Projects Agency

_Ah, mon cher est tres doux n'est pas? – Ah, my dear is very sweet don't you think?_

_Si, e inocente también – Yes, and innocent too_

_Hij is als een kind – He is like a child_

I'm sorry if any of the French/Spanish/Dutch is wrong, I only have limited knowledge of them… Oh and America is gonna be in the next chapter! I hope, maybe, I'll see.


	3. Chapter 3

Author Notes: Oh wow I'm a super mean person. I promised I would post this soon and it's been months! I'm so deeply and terribly sorry to all you readers that have been waiting for this chapter. I'm really really really sorry. Don't hate me ;-;

Anyway, America's going to make an appearance in this chapter, exciting no? Oh and if you haven't read My Life With You, I highly recommend it! I love pretty art~

And for those of you who have read it, should I be changing the rating to M later on? Or maybe I should just conveniently sugar coat those parts? Feedback please

Also, I was thinking of rewriting the first two chapters to make a steadier pace and have the story more intense I guess? Ackkk, okay no more rambling, here's your chapter .

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners

Chapter 3

_

* * *

Do you know? The only reason I go into battle is to prove myself. If I had told you that then, would you still think of me the same?_

* * *

The forest was still. The only sounds that could be heard were the occasional flapping of wings and the scurrying of tiny paws on bark. In a clearing, a cabin, isolated within the forest, basked in the early morning sun.

In the wilderness far from any road or civilization, the cabin seemed to be a simple getaway for any person to escape the outside world. Yet hidden beneath the leaves and underbrush, shadows waited patiently for their order to be given.

"All clear," reported Netherlands, giving the signal for the rest of the unit to invade the log cabin nesting within the woods.

The mission was swift and, how to say, unchallenged. It was a plain reconnaissance, which had then turned into an infiltration when their research suggested there was an illegal nuclear lab underneath the cabin. Unfortunately, by the time the team had broken in and investigated the place, everyone was gone, but they had left enough evidence for a forensics team to take over the case.

"Frustrating no? We finally infiltrate the place and we come out with our hands empty!" France scowled at the apparent lack of excitement in the mission.

"It wasn't a complete failure, they have the evidence. We just didn't catch the perpetrators. At least we got out of training right?" Apparently, France's negativity didn't dampen Spain's optimistic outlook on everything.

"Tsk, what a waste of time, if we had arrived a few hours earlier we could have caught them," Prussia also seemed disappointed by their uneventful mission.

Netherlands removed his helmet and peeled off his comms unit, "How's about we go out into town tonight? I don't think Germany's going to make us do any late night runs after this," the Dutchman, after all, would not miss an opportunity to drink.

"I'm down," Prussia too had removed his helmet as the team headed back to their makeshift base a few miles from the cabin.

"Welcome back guys, good work today," Matthew greeted them from his laptop as the team arrived.

"You're joking right? The mission was a failure," Prussia sighed, his voice held the disappointment he felt. The sight of Matthew was probably the only thing that lightened his spirits

"It wasn't a failure," Matt frowned, but he really couldn't say anything to that comment, it _would_ have been better if they had caught the criminals. "Anyway you all need to be debriefed before we go to base. We'll head back afterwards."

Their days had gone by in a similar manner. With his new position, doctor Matthew Williams now communicated intel to the team and often accompanied them on their missions. It was just a regular day.

* * *

Matthew's fingers clattered across the keyboard as he typed out a new binary program to better improve the base's security systems. He sat at a desk in his lab, hunched over, eyes glued to screen and engrossed in his work. Zeros and ones flitted across the screen in a foreign language only understood by the man writing the code.

There was a "do not disturb light" outside the lab door that was currently turned on. If anyone had to disturb him, it had better be important enough to remove Matthew from his work. The light, Matthew hoped, would be signal enough to leave him to his work. Nonetheless, the doctor was interrupted by an unexpected visitor.

"Dr. Williams?" A man knocked on the door and let himself in. When the doctor did not respond, he tried again, "Dr. Williams?"

Matt's head snapped up to the sound of his name, "Oh! Yes, what is it?" Damn, this had better be important. His eyes were still trying to adjust from a screen full of binary code to real life images.

"You have a visitor by the name of Alfred Jones. I informed him you were busy but he insisted he was your brother and it was urgent he see you immediately."

"Oh," Matthew's eyes went wide at the recognition of the name, "Oh! Let him in, has he been waiting long?" worry and a slight hint of fear was strained in his voice.

"No sir, I'll let him in immediately." The soldier gave a slight nod of his head and about faced down the hall.

Matthew sighed and silently wondered how he would face his brother after so long.

He did not have to worry though. No sooner had the soldier left when swiftly, a blond head dashed through the door and attacked Matthew, effectively knocking him over onto the floor and eliciting an "Ouch that hurt," from his end.

"Mattie!" Alfred F. Jones, his older half-brother, teary eyed and wailing, cried Matthew's pet name and crushed him into a suffocating bear-like hug.

"A-al, I can't b-breathe!" Matt could barely squeak enclosed in his brother's constricting arms.

"Oh! Sorry," Alfred finally released the pressure and realized the compromising position the two of them were in. Matthew was on the floor coughing for air while Alfred was straddling him.

Alfred quickly got up and grabbed his brother's arms to help him up as well.

"Hey Al, what are you doing here?" Matthew finally managed when he stopped coughing.

Tears stopped flowing and Alfred's eyebrows flew up in disbelief and his previously loud and boisterous voice suddenly turned serious and concerned.

"Mattie, you have been missing for over three _years_, and all you can say is 'what are you doing here?' Do you realize how worried I was? Do you know how many times I requested to go on a mission to find and rescue you?" Matt stared at his brother in awe. Alfred was hardly ever so solemn.

Alfred continued, "That time, I was on a plane over no man's land on a classified mission. I came home expecting to see my sweet little brother safe and ready to welcome me back and instead I find out you're missing! My superiors did not let me look for you because they had no idea where you were and if you were even alive. I missed you."

Hearing those words from his brother left Matthew silent. It was so strange seeing Alfred after so long. But, it was also comforting to know he had been missed.

"I'm sorry Al, when I was rescued they sent a notification to my family that I had been found and was safe. You, Mom and dad should have received it." Matthew's voice was soothing, it always has been. This time however, Alfred wasn't comforted, but instead angered.

"That's not the problem! They received the note alright and were fine and dandy about it but not me!" Alfred grabbed Matt's shoulders and started shaking him.

"I have been so worried about you all this time, you disappeared off the face of the earth and could have been dead. I lived for three years with that kind of doubt and all I get when you're finally found is an impersonal military notification?" Al started to choke up and his eyes were turning red.

"You could have at least called," Al let go of Matt's shoulders and looked away. "I wanted to be your hero."

Matthew thought back to the words he had told Gilbert, the one who did save him and was the hero. _Alfie would cry if I told him that._

"I'm sorry," Matt reached out to stroke Alfred's face but Alfred caught his hand and held it.

"I'm sorry," he repeated again, unsure of what to say.

They stood there for moments in silence, before they were startled by the sound of the door sliding open.

"Hey Matt, your light's off so I figured you were finished…" Gilbert stopped midsentence at the scene before him.

It wasn't _that_ compromising of a scene, it wasn't as if he walked in on them doing something shameful, Alfred was just holding Matthew's hand after all. However Gilbert felt as if he had interrupted something important.

"Sorry, I think I'll just talk to you later…" Gilbert had begun to back away.

"No, wait," Matthew stopped him. Alfred had already wiped the tears from his eyes and his face had begun to turn into normalcy before he faced Gilbert.

Matthew quickly glanced at his brother, then at Gilbert.

"Gilbert, this is my older brother, Alfred."

"Hey," Gilbert extended his hand, unsure of what to do. The resemblance was uncanny, apart from their hairstyles and their different curls, the boys could have been twins. And he thought Matthew and Francis looked similar.

"Al, this is my friend Gilbert, he saved me when I was in Siberia."

Alfred had taken Gilbert's hand in a firm handshake. When he heard Matt call this man his savior, he subtly narrowed his eyes.

"Nice to meet you," Alfred's usually million dollar smile was dampened by his apparently ill feelings toward the other man.

"Same here," Gilbert responded. He did not notice Alfred's glare directed at him.

Matthew did not miss his brother's expression however, and swiftly asked, "Gil, what did you come here for?"

"Oh, West wanted to talk to you about the base's new security measures and some other mission reports. I think he also mentioned something else but I can't remember what."

"Does he need me right now?" Matthew looked at his brother and his less-than-subtle glare now.

"No, he said you can come when you're done with your work," Gilbert walked towards the door, "I'll see you later okay?" with that, Gilbert left the lab.

"I don't like him," was Alfred's immediate statement when the door had slid close.

"What? Why?" Matthew looked at Alfred in exasperation. "I owe him my life, he saved me, and you acted very rude."

"That's why I hate him…" Alfred mumbled so Matt couldn't hear.

"What did you say?" Matthew tilted his head to the side.

Alfred looked at his little brother. His sweet little brother who had always relied on him for protection, the one who had always run to him whenever he was being bullied or needed help. Matthew definitely needed his older brother. He certainly could not leave him here with all these suspicious people in an unknown place.

"I'm transferring here," he declared boldly.

"What?" the surprise apparent in Matthew's voice.

"It's obvious you need me here. I promise I will be your hero from now on," he gave his classic thumbs up and a sunny smile.

Matthew sighed and rubbed his temple, _What will happen now? _He thought to himself.

* * *

Ugghhh, I'm sorry this was such a long update. I'll try to update again Thanksgiving break. Please don't be mad for the slowness of the chapters. School is very difficult after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Author Notes: Okay I don't think I should promise things I don't intend to keep… I'm sorry my dear readers. :c

**ATTENTION: **I have rewritten some parts of the last few chapters and added some more content to make it more developed? If you don't read them it's okay, but you know, if you want to refresh your memories after such a long update, it might be nice. Anyway, think of this as a late Christmas gift?

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners

Chapter 4

_

* * *

I didn't know what to do at that time. Maybe if I said something then, I would not have any regrets._

* * *

Matthew collapsed on the couch, exhausted and hungry. He had spent the entire week helping Alfred move in and frankly, it was a lot worse than the time he had moved into his college dorm. At first he had insisted on moving in with Matthew but Matt had vehemently refused saying there was no room and he could not possibly concentrate on his work if Alfred was around. Matt could never quite resist Alfred's whines and puppy-dog pout, but this time he was adamant about the fact that his room could not accommodate two grown men comfortably. So, Alfred went ahead and requested to have the room _right next to his._

Then Matthew had to talk to Major Beildshmidt to discuss not only the base's security system and the weapon he was developing, which took hours by itself, but also to explain his brother's whimsical decision to transfer to this base and then make all the necessary arrangements. He had not been in his lab all week and had yet to finish his work, meaning he would have to stay up late tonight to at least get through some of it. Matthew was _very_ tired.

In his apartment, Kumajiro padded over to the kitchen where Matthew was and looked up at him. "Hungry," his expression read.

Matthew smiled softly and picked the bear up into his arms. "Sorry, I haven't given you much attention this week have I?" He got up, prepared some fish, and placed the dish on the floor next to Kumajirou. The bear gave a quizzical look, "who…?" it seemed to say. Matthew sighed, wondering if he should respond to the look with their old joke. "It's Canada," he whispered faintly.

Sitting down to eat some of his own dinner, Matthew thought of how much work he had to do. He thought of the preparations he still had to take care of for Alfred. And then he thought of one soldier with silver hair who had been so kind to him.

_Gilbert…_ Matthew's cheeks flushed slightly as he thought of him. He knew he liked him, and he knew he had not really given him a proper confession. Not that he was planning to of course, although he probably knew. Really he didn't want anything to change between them and was okay with the two of them just being friends. It was difficult sometimes though. At times the guys would come back from training, shirtless and glistening with sweat after a hard work out. Matthew could see them from his lab and more than once had he stared at the rippling muscles and broad back of one silver haired soldier. Heat rushed to Matthew's cheeks as he recalled such times.

Calming down, Matthew let out a long sigh. He left his apartment and headed to the lab in the base. He was going to have a long night.

* * *

Alfred heard the door of the other apartment close shut. He heard the keys as the door locked and the footsteps slowly faded away. _Mattie is going to work, _he thought.

He knew he had caused his little brother a lot of trouble this week. Try as he might to make it better, he only made it worse. Attempting to make dinner one night, Alfred had burned the food, leaving the two of them to get take out instead. Not to mention he had almost burned down the kitchen after which Matthew forbade Alfred from ever touching the stove again. While cleaning he had muttered to himself how he only knew how to make hamburgers and probably got his cooking skills from their summers in England.

Alfred lay in bed that night thinking of the past three years. When he found out of his brother's disappearance he had promptly requested to go on a search and rescue mission. It should not have been difficult. Being a ranked pilot in the airforce he should have received clearance for the mission. His superiors however, had denied him saying other divisions will take the mission and that they needed him somewhere else.

He closed his eyes, remembering the anger and bitterness, but most of all the worry. That ugly feeling tugging at him for the past few years had been the worst. He would lay awake all night thinking of his little brother and what might have happened to him. Come on, Alfred F. Jones, the hero who saves people from their unfortunate plights could not save his little brother because he was unaware of the other's location and not even allowed to look! It was a ridiculous notion, following rules and letting others tell him what to do. But seeing as he had no idea what had happened, there was little to be done.

Then came the joy, the happiness, and relief after being told Matthew was alive. After he received the notice, little time was taken to pack up and head out to see his brother. He had already left the base before his commander had granted him a leave.

_I am a hero,_ Alfred repeated to himself. From now on he would definitely protect his brother from whatever.

* * *

"Mattie," a silver haired man sing-songed the name, "what are you doing on base so late?" It was past midnight, and Gilbert had just come back from night training. He searched the lab for one blonde scientist and found him in front of his computer.

Upon closer inspection, Gilbert realized the other was sleeping on his work. Papers were splayed out under the scientist's arms and the monitor blinked with some open files. Not wanting to wake him, Gilbert quietly searched the lab for a blanket. Finding one in the cupboard under the shelf of reference books, Gilbert carefully covered Matthew with it.

Still unwilling to leave, Gilbert pulled up a chair and sat on it so that he could rest his arms and head on the back of the chair.

He sat there for a long while, simply staring at Matthew. Gilbert heard the faint inhaling and exhaling, Matthew didn't snore. He noted the soft waves falling on the sides of a smooth face, that one curl permanently fixed before his eyes. Gilbert reached out and gently removed the scientist's glasses, placing them on the table. He wished he could see Matthew's eyes at that moment. At times they looked blue but he knew they were a most amazing shade of violet. This moment, Gilbert stared at the lidded eyes and the long eyelashes bordering them.

Gilbert's gaze trailed down to Matthew's lips. That mouth had scolded him countless times whenever they had not followed orders or were slacking off instead of training. It had also said words of encouragement and praise. Gilbert wondered for a moment what they would taste like and had a fleeting notion of finding out.

He leaned in closer and brushed back Matthew's hair. Crimson eyes were fixed intently on the sleeping face. He made a motion as if to kiss the boy but stopped.

Gilbert shook his head as if to snap himself out of a trance and stared at Matthew again. "This is so unawesome of me," Gilbert said to the unaware.

He brought himself back away from Matthew ran his fingers through his hair. Gilbert was about to leave when a name on one of Matthew's files caught his eye. Quickly scanning the rest of the papers on the desk and some files on the screen, Gilbert's eyes slowly widened. "Shit," he said under his breath.

As quietly as he could, Gilbert got up and left the lab and scientist.

* * *

Matthew woke up to the bright sunlight coming in through the window. Squinting his eyes against the light, he realized his vision to be blurry. Reaching out for his glasses, he found them folded and placed on his desk next to his arm. _I don't remember taking off my glasses… _

Getting up, he was surprised to see a blanket fall from his shoulders. "Who…?" Matthew asked out loud. He snapped out of his reverie when he saw the screen of his phone light up under a loose paper. Matthew usually kept his phone silent when he was working.

The screen displayed over 50 missed calls, all from Alfred. And he was calling yet again. Matthew groaned and answered the phone, "Hello?"

"_OHMYGOD MATTIE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT I HAVE BEEN SO WORRIED SINCE I NEVER HEARD YOU COME BACK ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU HURT I HOPE YOU'RE NOT AT SOME SUSPICIOUS BASTARD'S PLACE– "_ Matthew held the phone away from his ear so that his hearing would not be impaired by his brother's loud yelling.

"Al… Al… Alfred I'm all right!" He tried speaking over his brother's voice, no easy feat. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep while working. I still have work to do so I'm going to stay in the lab okay?"

There was more dialogue coming from the other line, something about Alfred needing lots of his brother's homemade pancakes in the morning, and that they should eat breakfast together, and more complaints. Really, trying to argue with his brother was like trying to make Kumajiro remember his master's name.

Alfred finally ended his long rant by saying he was coming to the base now. "Okay, I'll see you later," Matthew ended the phone call. Organizing the papers on his desk he once again wondered who removed his glasses and gave him a blanket last night. _It was very sweet of them…_

Checking the computer, he skimmed through the documents and remembered he had to visit Ludwig again.

Matthew went to the bathroom to clean up before heading to General Beildschmidt's office. His stomach rumbled in hunger but Matthew chose to ignore it. After all, he had gone a lot longer without food before.

Matthew knocked on the door before he heard the General say, "Come in."

Ludwig did not look up from his work as Matthew walked into the office and sat down in one of the chairs. "You wanted to see me General Beildshmidt?"

"Yes, Dr. Williams," he pinched the bridge of his nose before looking up at the scientist. His steely blue eyes, usually determined, were clouded with worry at the moment.

He proceeded, "we have received intelligence from our Japanese allies that anti-government forces have overtaken a military research facility. This facility has important and extremely dangerous, possibly nuclear, weapons. It also contains highly classified information that cannot fall into the wrong hands."

As Matthew listened, he became confused. "Excuse me sir, with all do respect, what does this have to do with me? I usually receive mission information from a briefing with all the other scientists and researchers." The only times he needed to visit Ludwig's office alone was to discuss technology-based topics, not actual missions.

"I was not finished, the anti-government force we believe to have taken the facility are believed to be from the same organization that kidnapped you."

"Oh…" Matthew realized now the reason for this meeting, "You want me to give you information about that organization?"

"Correct, you have already shared your experiences in Siberia but now we would like you to gather more data. Organize a research team if you must. We will be dispatching a force to take the base so we will need as much information as possible."

Matthew felt his heart drop, "You will be sending the men to the battlefield?"

"Hopefully it won't be. You are dismissed Dr. Williams."

Leaving the office, Matthew felt sick. He had a feeling this mission would not end well. Sure the men had gone on other missions before, but this one just felt different. Perhaps he was biased because this organization had kidnapped and held him captive for almost three years, but he still did not like it.

As he walked back to the lab, Matthew remembered his brother would have to go too. He had no doubt Alfred would be excited to go on a mission and play hero.

Making a detour Matthew decided to delay his return to the lab to find Gilbert.

* * *

It's so weird! Are all of them out of character do you guys think? In my head it all works out but to my readers I have no idea…

This chapter is really very fluffy, not much happened but there's lots of cotton candy ahaa.

Don't forget to review and give feedback! They make me happy and give me encouragement to write more!


	5. Chapter 5

Author Notes: Sigh. I know this is another update after such a long time. I'm sorry. I really hope to finish this fanfiction, unfortunately, I have an extremely horrible habit of not finishing what I start. But I will try! Therefore, please bear with me. Thank you so much for your patience. I will attempt very much to not be late. And don't forget to leave reviews to encourage me c:

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners

**Chapter 5**

* * *

_I had fully intended to keep that promise to you. But I don't know if I will be able to anymore._

* * *

It was still early morning, which meant Gilbert was still on base. Matthew had already checked the usual places: the gym, the barracks, and the mess hall. Finding him nowhere, the Canadian scientist wandered around aimlessly hoping to bump into the silver-haired man.

Matthew just turned the corner around a building when he suddenly collided with a tall and strong pillar-like thing. "Watch out squirt," the pillar said. Matt looked up to find the Netherlands looking down on him. The man was sitting on a crate against the wall, a cigarette between his lips and arms crossed over his large chest.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Lars, I wasn't watching where I was going…" Matt's arms flailed and his voice faltered as he tried to articulate an apology.

The Dutch man chuckled, "Don't worry about it." He eyed the scientist, "What're you doing so early in the morning?"

"Oh, I'm looking for Gilbert. Have you seen him?" His tone is hopeful and his expression, curious.

"Hmm…" a stream of white smoke escapes the Dutch man's lips. "I haven't seen him since last night during training." Matthew's eyes turn down in disappointment, a gesture Lars did not fail to catch.

"He's probably with Francis and Tony, have you been to their barracks?" He observed the way the early morning light played upon the blonde's hair, and the clear expression shown in his violet eyes.

"Mm, I was just there," Matt sighed. He really wanted to talk to Gilbert about the possible upcoming mission.

"You look tired, sit here and have a smoke," he offered Matt his pack of cigarettes. The Canadian refused. It's not that he didn't smoke, because he did. He just didn't feel up to it at the moment.

"It's really early to be smoking, eh?" The other man's lips turned up at the comment. "You're right. I'm sorry, miss."

The blonde scientist frowned, "I'm not a 'miss'." Matt didn't notice that his 'frown' looked more like a pout, and to the average bystander, it was an adorable pout to say the least.

Lars removed the cigarette from his mouth to let out a laugh. "You're real cute, kid," the larger man teased and ruffled the scientist's hair.

"I'm not a kid either! I'm a grown man!" Matthew indignantly yelled.

With his hand still atop Matt's hair, Lars looked down at the boy strangely. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and let it hover between his two fingers. "If wonder what would have happened if I had been the one to find you…"

That statement caught Matt off guard. "What?"

A stream of white smoke escaped the tall man's lips and a laugh followed soon after. "Nothing, kid," Lars dismissed, "Why don't you try the river? Francis has been wanting to go swimming these past few days."

The scientist gave the soldier a puzzled look. "Okay," he said slowly. _That was strange, _Matt thought. But anyway, he really wanted to find Gilbert. "Thanks Lars. I'll see you later!"

Another wisp of white smoke escaped the Dutch man's lips as he watched the slight figure of the scientist disappear behind the building. _If I had been the one to find you that day, would be looking for me the way you do for him?_

* * *

Under the mid-morning sun, three figures sat on the bank of a not-so-large-river discussing what seemed to be a very serious something.

"Are you sure you saw that name? It could have been a coincidence," came the skeptic voice of a Frenchman.

"No, I'm positive I saw the right one. After that, I went straight to West and asked what's up. He didn't answer me directly, but I'm pretty sure we're gonna be sent to Siberia," replied an annoyed voice.

"Ah, but even if it is him, what do you think will happen? He's been missing for years," came a nonchalant voice this time.

Gilbert let out an exasperated sound. "Look guys, I'm just telling you what I saw. I don't know what any of it means or what 's going to happen. I just…" Gilbert frowned and didn't complete his sentence.

"What did you say? I didn't catch that," Antonio asked.

Francis, being the most sensitive of the three, realized that the awesome Gilbert did not want to voice his insecurities and quickly changed the subject. "So what _were_ you doing in my dear Mathieu's room anyway hmm?" He had meant to ask this in a carefree tone, but it came out rather… suggestive.

"Oh that's right! You left after training, I was wondering where you were," the Spaniard grinned, unaware of his friend's insinuating tone.

Gilbert swiftly turned his red eyes away from his two friends and stubbornly answered, "I just saw the light on in his lab is all."

"_Really? _There was no other reason you came to visit my cute cousin?" Francis leaned in closer to Gilbert, who was still avoiding the others' eyes.

"Speaking of your cousin… Hey Mattie, what's up?" Antonio waved at the sight of the blonde scientist approaching.

"Hey Tony, Francis, Gilbert," said scientist nodded a greeting to each of them in turn.

"Mathieu!" Francis shouted gleefully and proceeded to stand up and glomp his younger cousin. Matthew squeaked at the sudden hug but stood there for a moment being smothered by his affectionate cousin's _faire la bise_. When Francis finally released his cousin from the hug, Matt asked, "Gilbert, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"How mean Matthieu! Your adoring and devilishly handsome cousin stands before you and you ask for another man! How cruel!" Francis dramatically cried.

"Yeah what's up?" Gilbert asked, ignoring his friend's laments.

"Uh well, it's kind of something private… and I was hoping to talk to you alone…" Matt's already soft voice fell a little. Silver eyebrows rose in curiosity.

Upon hearing his cousin's request, Francis quickly overcame his grief and grinned a very sly grin. Antonio choked after attempting to conceal his laugh with a cough.

"Sure," Gilbert replied before shooting a glare at his two best friends. Matt looked relieved.

"Have fun you two!" Antonio happily waved. "I don't want to see any foul play~" Francis winked as the duo walked away.

"Damn those guys. What are they saying..." Gilbert grumbled. "Hey don't laugh."

Matt chuckled as they headed upstream away from Francis and Antonio. "I'm not laughing. I was just thinking how nice it is to have such close friends."

"Yeah yeah, they don't call us the Bad Touch Trio for nothing. So, something wrong?"

Matt stopped laughing and remembered the reason why he wanted to find Gilbert. "Have you heard anything about a new mission?"

Gilbert hesitated for the smallest fraction of a second. Matthew had just been doing research so he shouldn't know anything about a mission right? Besides, this type of mission would be considered highly classified and dangerous. It would be better if the scientist were not involved. "Nope, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Matthew's face turned to one of displeasure, "Gilbert…"

_Damn, he's using a no-nonsense tone. I better distract him. _"Hey! I've just had the most awesome idea ever! Let's go swimming!"

"Don't switch the subject all of a su – " Matthew's outburst was cut short when he saw the silver-haired man peel off his white shirt. That effectively made Matt forget about everything, and he quickly turned red.

"W- wh- what are you doing?" Matt asked taking a step back. Gilbert gave his characteristic smirk, "Going swimming of course. You're joining me," he stepped closer, "Right?"

While walking upstream, Matt had stood on the side next to the river. With Gilbert slowly approaching in his half-naked glory, Matt stepped back closer and closer to the water's edge.

"N- no! I'm okay, really…" Poor Matthew turned even redder as he stared at Gilbert. Damn, how did a man get to be so cut? Granted he was a soldier who had intense training every day that required one's physique to be at it's best, but still! Matt wasn't thinking about that at the moment. The poor boy was too distracted staring at a perfection of a human form to notice he was so close to the water.

"Hey Matt…" there was concern on Gilbert's face now as he reached his hand out to the Canadian.

"What are you doing? Don't – " Matthew felt himself fall backwards. The next moment, he was submerged in water.

"Matt!" Gilbert yelled, but his hand had not reached the scientist in time. Water splashed on him when Matt had fallen in. "Hey Matt are you okay?" Gilbert asked into the water. When no one resurfaced after a few seconds, Gilbert became worried. _The water shouldn't be _that _deep. He should be up by now._ Red eyes scanned the water and calculated it's current. _Even if he was pulled along with the current, it still isn't strong enough to take him far, and there aren't any rocks here to get stuck under. Unless… _

"Shit." At his swift realization, Gilbert promptly dived into the river to save the scientist. He could barely make out a large white shape that was shifting through the water. _His lab coat…_

In a well-practiced and expert maneuver, Gilbert dolphin-kicked his way to the white blob and wrapped his arms around the figure. He gasped for air as he resurfaced the water and with one arm still around the scientist, managed to swim to shore.

"Gilbert! Matt!" He heard his friends yell as they ran over. Being the expert stalkers they were, France and Spain had watched the two walk up the river and had been gleeful to see Gilbert take off his shirt in front of Matt. But their squees of excitement turned to gasps of horror when the scientist had fallen in.

"_Ay Dios mio_, what happened?" Antonio exclaimed at the sight of Matt, still fully dressed, soaked, and apparently unconscious. Gilbert too, was soaked and sat beside Matt trying to catch his breath.

"Did he fall in? My Mathieu can't swim!" Francis wailed.

"Well I didn't know that! I only suggested swimming and he suddenly tripped into the river!" Gilbert sputtered.

At that moment all three of the friends heard coughing. Matthew, who had been lying on his back, began choking and coughing as his body attempted to expel the excess water that had entered his lungs. "Matt, Mattie are you okay? I'm sorry," Gilbert apologized and helped the boy sit up.

Matthew tried to say something, but he couldn't make his voice come out. "Don't try to talk, Mathieu. You're injured."

"I… I hate swimming," Matt said weakly. The three friends looked at the almost drowned person lying on the ground before they burst out laughing.

* * *

"Don't you skate or something? I thought you'd like water," Gilbert commented while pouring some tea.

After the near-drowning incident, Francis instructed Matt to go home and rest for a little while - despite the Canadian's protests that he was completely fine. And as punishment for almost letting his cute little cousin drown, Gilbert was to take care of him.

"You don't have to be here Gilbert, really I'm fine!" Matt objected as he was handed a teacup. The two had returned to Matt's apartment and currently resided in his kitchen having tea.

"Don't worry about. The awesome me can do anything," Gilbert winked while saying this. Matthew blushed and hid his face behind the teacup and the steam that drifted out of it. He could tell there was no getting the man to leave him alone any time soon.

"Fine," Matthew paused for a minute before answering the initial question. "A- anyway, I play _hockey. _And hockey has nothing to do with swimming. They're completely different! I'm used to good solid ice, not moving water!" Matt grumbled. His brother had always been the one to take to the water more readily than he had. While Alfred preferred going to the pool, Matt enjoyed the skating rink. All his time devoted to hockey had left him little room for swim lessons.

"Anyway, that's another time you saved me," Matt added.

Gilbert waved off the comment. "Well it doesn't really count since it's my fault you fell in the river."

"You didn't answer my question earlier," the Canadian started after sipping his tea.

_Damn. I didn't think he would remember. _"What question?" Better to play dumb, Gilbert decided.

"Don't act like you don't know. Ludwig said you guys were being sent to Siberia, is that true?" Matthew looked concerned.

"Mattie, I really don't think this concerns you. Isn't it outside your jurisdiction anyway?" Gilbert crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Matt bristled a little at that comment, "It _does _concern me, I was there remember? I was the one they kidnapped! Tell me what it's all about."

"That's against the rules! Besides, you're going to do research right? There shouldn't be anything I need to tell you."

"I know you're hiding something. This isn't simply going to Siberia and retrieving stolen technology," Matthew paused before he added, "and don't tell me it's against the rules, you told me your real name when you saved me that time."

"That's because you were cute then…" Gilbert looked away and mumbled to himself.

"Did you say something?"

"Nope."

Matthew stared down at his tea, "I just don't like it. I don't want you to go." The last part of his sentence was barely audible.

Gilbert looked at the person before him. Wavy honey-colored hair covered the boy's face and hid the violet eyes that currently held so much worry.

"It's just so dangerous, and I really don't like that place," Matthew continued.

"Hey, I'm awesome enough to face any kind of danger," Gilbert grinned trying to reassure the worried scientist. But Matthew still looked unconvinced. His eyes were downcast and he was still staring at his tea, unwilling to look at Gilbert.

"Matt, don't worry. I'm sure I'll be able to face any enemy as long as I know that you're supporting me."

Violet eyes looked up. "Just… please come back." Gilbert reached out and placed his hand on top of Matthew's.

"I promise the awesome Gilbert Beildshmidt will definitely come back," he grinned again.

The corners of Matthew's lips turned up. "Thank you."

* * *

So corny… I feel sorry for Netherlands ;-;

While PrussiaxCanada is my OTP, I can't help but appreciate NetherlandsxCanada. Sending thousands of tulips every year as a thanks for protecting their royalty is just so cute and squee-able and fwuffy.


	6. Chapter 6

Author Notes: You can all kill me now for taking months to update…

So, because I am the writer of this story and am therefore entitled to "creative license" please disregard any mistakes concerning military stuffs and technicalities. I really don't know what it's like to be in the military and protocol and all that jazz.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners

**Chapter 6**

* * *

_Perhaps if I had said goodbye, if I had realized my feelings sooner, if I had just _known_... I wouldn't feel such regret._

* * *

"Alfred, please calm down," Matthew was trying to sate the savage beast he called brother. Said person was currently going on a rampage all over Matthew's room.

"CALM DOWN? YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN?" Alfred glared at his little brother lying in bed.

"I'm fine Al. I just fell into the water, no big deal," he reassured.

This time Alfred marched up to Matt's face. "First, you stay out all night and don't come home for breakfast. Second, you aren't in your lab when I try to pick you up. Third, I find you with _that idiot_," he pointed to the door. Gilbert had been asked -or rather ordered- to leave by an angry Alfred. "And fourth, you f***ing fell into the river and almost drowned! Do you really think I can be calm?"

Matthew looked up at his brother's eyes and gave a hopeful smile, "Yes?" Alfred threw his hands up in exasperation. Matt smiled at his brother's antics.

While Alfred continued on his rampage, Matt's thoughts wandered back to the mission. "Al," he started.

His brother stopped at the interruption, "What?"

"Have you heard anything about a new mission?"

Alfred frowned, "No, why?"

He wanted to talk to him about it. Maybe ask him to stay. But that would be selfish and unfair. Besides, Al would never pass up the opportunity to save the day.

"I think you'll be sent on one soon. Be safe, okay?"

Alfred looked at the worried brother. "Aren't I always?" He replied with a grin.

* * *

Gilbert barged into the office without warning, "West, tell me what this mission's really about."

Ludwig opened his mouth to scold his brother for coming in without permission, and then sighed. There was no escaping the inevitable. The team would have to know their mission sooner or later anyway.

"On record it's a mission to reclaim the base and capture the anti-government forces. They are supposed to be a group of rebels with some stolen arson, nothing we couldn't really handle," Ludwig paused and folded his hands. Gilbert had his arms crossed over his chest and waited.

"But the intelligence received tells us that it's a trap. The organization responsible for kidnapping Dr. Williams purposefully baited us by taking over the facility. Their supposed purpose is to gather enough technology and information to use against the UN and receive ransom money…" he paused again.

"So we're just going to walk into that trap? What else do they want?" Gilbert was losing his patience.

Ludwig shifted his gaze from his hands to his brother. "They want _you." _

Gilbert felt his heart skip a beat. He refused to show his fear however, and kept his arms firmly crossed over his chest.

"Japan has realized that the organization that kidnapped Williams is the same organization that captured and tortured you. Against my better judgment, I am sending you on this mission. Are you still willing to go?"

At this point, Gilbert and his brother were having a staring contest. Gilbert thinking about what his brother had just said, and Ludwig waiting for an answer.

After what seemed like hours even though it was only a minute Gilbert finally said, "I'll go."

The younger brother closed his eyes at this response. He had sent his brother on countless missions, a number of them life-threatening. But he never ceased to have a small seed of worry in his being. "You'll be briefed tonight," he started, "your team leaves in the morning."

Gilbert saluted playfully. He was only able to get away with it when it was just the two of them. Gilbert opened the door, but before leaving he turned towards his brother. "It's him isn't it," he wasn't asking a question.

"Yes."

The door clicked shut.

* * *

Mmm… I do apologize for abandoning this fic, and I don't know if I'll continue. But if I do, the pacing and the timeline will be all screwy so meehhh. Thank you for all the watches and reviews and stuffs c:


	7. Chapter 7

Author Notes: Try I will very hard to finish this story. Key word: try.

These next two chapters are dedicated to all my fans. Especially the ones who've been here since the first chapter, which was what, 2 years ago? (ughh so long…)

So… you know how I said that the timeline will be all screwy now? I went back and added the line, "a few months later" in chapter 2 between Matt being transferred to the base, and showing Gilbert his new lab. So this chapter is set in those few months in the middle of chapter 2. It's like that in the manga so meeeehhhhhhh.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners

**Chapter 7**

* * *

_I wanted to know everything about you. I was stupid for not asking you what I wanted to know most._

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Matt transferred onto the base. He spent a majority of his time in the lab with the other scientists trying to catch up on their current projects, learning their computer systems, discussing changes and improvements, and other work in general. After his rather bold confession to a certain silver-haired man, Matthew went through an avoid-him-at-all-costs phase. Which was actually quite difficult since he was in charge of briefing the team and giving them intel on their missions.

During those briefings, he would try to act professional. Yet no matter how authoritative, confidant, and objective he tried to be, the team couldn't help noticing how absolutely adorable he was. Each to varying degrees of course. And they would never pass up opportunities to tease the little scientist.

"Good morning, _mon cher_," greeted his flamboyant cousin, after which he proceeded to take Matt's hand and kiss it. Although he was used to his cousin's affection and didn't mind it, Matt was embarrassed that Francis would do that during work. It elicited a faint blush to stain his cheeks. "Francis!" he whined, quickly pulling his hand away. The sudden movement made him back into someone else. "Oh!"

"Watch where you're going, kid," the large Dutchman grinned, ruffling the scientists hair. "I'm sorry," Matt apologized while his hair was tousled, his face turning a shade redder in embarrassment.

"Oy, do you have a fever? You're face is all red!" Matt felt a hand on his neck pull him forward. Suddenly Antonio's forehead was pressed against his own, checking his temperature. Matt felt his face heat up even further as he escaped the Spaniard's touch. "No I'm fine, really!"

He heard a chuckle from behind. Matt turned to see Gilbert walk into the briefing room, his usual smirk painted on his face. The poor boy's pale skin made his blush oh the more prominent. The rest of the team laughed to Matt's obviously flustered state.

"Alright guys, let's hear what he has to say," Gilbert instructed. Matt shot him a grateful look and then turned away in embarrassment.

He went ahead to tell the team about some illegal black market dealings and their mission to intercept one of their cargo trains. It was a relatively regular mission for the special-ops team. Matt gave them effective plans of attack and the enemy's weak points. As the team was leaving to carry out their assignment, Antonio stopped to talk to the scientist.

"Hey Doc, we're thinking about going downtown after the mission for some drinks. Wanna come?" Toni asked. Matt could tell he was just being really friendly. And although he was flattered by the invitation, he didn't think it was a good idea.

"No I'm okay. I'm not really the best drinking buddy," he assured, thinking back to his crazy drunk rampages.

"Come on. It'll be fun! Think of it as a thank you for all the useful intel you give us. You're one of the best you know?" Toni's smile was goofy and his tone playful, but he was sincere.

_Well once in awhile should be fine… _"Where are we going?" Antonio's smile grew wide. "Good choice, _amigo_! We'll have a wonderful time!" And with that, he went through the door to follow the rest of his team.

* * *

_How did this happen._ They came back from their mission, just like Antonio said. But unlike what Antonio said, it wasn't with everyone. In fact, it was just Matthew and one other person – Gilbert Beildschmidt.

"Are we waiting for everyone?" Matt asked hopefully.

"No it's just us," Gilbert replied, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"Wha- why?"

Small puffs of smoke escaped his lips as he said, "Everyone else suddenly had something else to do."

He wasn't lying either. Francis decided to visit an Englishman who owned an old bookshop across town. Lars heard that his Japanese lover had come to visit his sister nearby. Antonio was whisked away by his Italian boyfriend who had actually _asked him_ on a date for once. And even Ludwig wanted to spend his night off with a certain sweetheart.

"So… should we just cancel our plans?"

Gilbert brought the cigarette to his lips again. "No. I still wanna go. I feel like having a drink," he admitted. "Come on, I'll drive." He threw down the cigarette and put it out. Keys appeared out of his pocket, and he started walking in the direction of the garage.

Matt stood in place for a few moments. His mind argued with itself over going with Gilbert or not. They hadn't been alone since the rescue, and frankly Matt still felt embarrassed over his little confession. He was going to make a fool of himself; he just knew it.

"Wait," he snapped out of his reverie and unconsciously followed the other, "you have a car?" Soldiers weren't allowed to keep their cars on base.

Gilbert clicked his tongue and winked, "Don't tell West that I'm 'borrowing' one of his."

Matt couldn't suppress a smile and he found himself getting into the car with Gilbert. Still… _How did this happen._

* * *

The car ride wasn't as awkward as Matt thought it could have been. It proved to be pleasant in fact, save for one piece of conversation.

"Gilbert, how come I've never seen you going out with any girls?" Matt asked as they drove down the freeway. It was relatively empty given the late time of day and the only sounds they could hear were the radio and the _whoosh_ of the car as it sped along the deserted roads.

With his eyes trained on the road, Gilbert merely shrugged and explained, "I dunno. I don't feel like it."

"But how are you supposed to find a woman right now if you don't?" He didn't notice Gilbert's jaw clench. Matt persisted, "A man your age should be thinking of settling down and starting a family."

"Hey Mattie," Gilbert snapped, "Do you think you're my mom or something? Because I already have one who gives me shit, and even she knows to butt out about who I sleep with."

Matt flushed red and an irritated Gilbert continued, "Have I ever asked you about who, when, or how many you're sleeping with?"

At this point Matthew grew indignant and objected, "I've never told you because you wouldn't care!"

The car became silent. Again, the only sounds heard were the radio and the car. Matthew turned his head towards the window and watched as the city lights zipped by. The only things he could think about were his idiocy and the awkwardness of the situation.

"Hey," Gilbert broke the silence, "if you must know, I'm divorced. I don't have kids either." His eyes were still trained on the road, refusing to look at the other.

Matt looked at Gilbert, surprised. "Really?" Somehow, he didn't look like the type to marry young. "I- I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have pried," Matt apologized.

Gilbert sighed, "It's fine. I just don't like talking about it," he hesitated before continuing, "We were together since we were little, you know? Childhood sweethearts and all that. Then out of the blue, some prissy Austrian sweeps her off her feet. After the divorce, I've just lost interest in women."

Matt was silent before commenting, "But doesn't that prevent you from finding true love? What if there's someone out there who could be the one?" He wasn't trying to imply himself. In truth, the thought didn't even cross Matt's mind. His concern was genuine.

Gilbert huffed in defeat and softened his expression, "Yeah, maybe…"

They avoided that topic for the rest of night and moved the conversation to pleasanter things. Topics such as: the finer points of owning and training a pet polar bear/ bird, the annoying parts about having an eccentric brother, the annoying parts about having a stick-in-the-mud for a brother, maple syrup and pancakes, biological warfare and military strategies and other subjects made for some laughs, playful arguments, and a few heated debates.

* * *

They had arrived at a bar that the team frequented. Gilbert walked in and greeted the owners: a tall intimidating Swedish man with a permanent scowl on his face and a short Finnish man with a friendly expression and cheerful demeanor.

"Berwald! Tino! What's up?" Gilbert greeted.

"Gilbert!" Tino returned, happily. He looked behind Gilbert looking for his friends. "Are you alone? Where are the rest of you?"

Gilbert sat down and pulled up a stool for Matt. "I'm not alone. I brought a squint with me!"

Tino looked confused, "I don't see anyone." Matthew sighed at being called a squint _and_ being unnoticed.

"This here's Matthew Williams," Gilbert introduced while giving Matt a good pat on the back. Well, Gilbert thought it was a pat. Matt coughed a little in pain.

"Oh! I didn't see you there. I'm sorry," Tino apologized. Berwald laid down drinks for the two of them. "Ar' th'y c'm'ng l't'r?" Matt stared blankly at the large man. He did not understand a word he said. Gilbert had no trouble though. "No they're all out with their lovers."

Tino teased, "Are you out with your lover too?" He grinned at Matt who turned red in response.

"It's nothing like that!" he exclaimed, finally finding his voice. "We're just friends!" _I think…_ Matt thought to himself. He didn't know if he and Gilbert were really considered friends.

Gilbert glanced at Matt before agreeing, "Y-yeah, just friends." He took a swig of the drink in front of him. "Ah! That's good stuff! What did you put in here, Berwald?" The Swede shrugged.

"Do I have the same thing?" Matt took a large gulp of the drink and almost choked when he felt a strong burning sensation down his throat. He made a kind of inhuman sound. "What was that?" Matt asked the same question as Gilbert except with a different tone. The corners of the Berwald's mouth turned up in amusement while Gilbert and Tino chuckled. The Swede offered Matt a beer to chase it down.

"Sorry Mattie, Berwald usually likes to experiment new drinks with us. I didn't realize it'd be too strong for you," Gilbert laughed.

"Shut up," Matt pouted and chugged the beer.

"Hah, impressive. But that's just beer," Gilbert goaded.

"Don't underestimate me," Matt warned. "You just caught me off guard. I can handle my booze."

"Yeah? Prove it." Gilbert's blood-red eyes were fixed on Matt, daring him to take on the challenge.

Matt glared back. "I will. But first, I need my phone. I left it in the car, so can I have the keys?"

Gilbert's eyebrows rose in disbelief. "Seriously? You're not going to run away are you?" He gave him the keys anyway. Matt wasn't the type to run from a fight; he found that out in Siberia.

"I won't run. Be ready with the drinks, Berwald. I'm going to win this challenge." Behind Matt's glasses, Gilbert could see violet eyes flash with determination. _How cute…_ Gilbert thought as the other walked out of the bar.

Berwald noticed how Gilbert stared after the boy, even after the doors closed. "I th'nk y' l'ke h'm," came his deep voice beside Gilbert's ear. The soldier turned red and whipped his head around to face the speaker. "I told you, we're just friends," he said a little too defensively. Berwald shrugged again and went back to his other customers.

"He's cute though isn't he?" Tino observed.

Gilbert relaxed, he couldn't possibly snap at Tino of all people. "Yeah, he is."

It's hard to believe that such a pleasant night could end so terribly.

* * *

You should all be insanely happy I wrote this and updated so quickly haha. I should have the next one up by tomorrow. Excited? c;

On another note, I've reread My Life With You and still cannot get over the beautiful art. Tsuru Gikai-sensei, I worship you.


	8. Chapter 8

Author Notes: Weee! Another chapter! WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY DARK

So I'm going to bump this up to M since this chapter contains profanities and bad things… Anyway, here you goo

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners

**Chapter 8**

* * *

_I should have held you that time. I don't want to die without knowing the feeling of you in my arms._

* * *

_Oh goodness what am I getting myself into, _Matt worried as he trudged to the car. _I only said that to impress him. I can't do this drinking contest. I'll embarrass him. I don't want to win and emasculate him… But what if I lose and get drunk? No that's impossible. But what if? Ugh, that would be terrible… I absolutely cannot get drunk. What if the same thing happens as last time? Maybe I should just drive away and come back when he's drunk so he won't remember the dare… But wait, he'll remember it 'cause he's not drunk yet. Argh…_

This internal conflict distracted Matthew to the point where he didn't notice a few guys trailing behind him. They had seen him as soon as he stepped out of the bar and followed him when they realized an intimidating albino soldier didn't accompany him.

As Matt stepped out from under the brightness of the streetlights, the men leapt out of the shadows. Matt heard the brief scuff and sidestepped one of his attackers. Another one came from behind and Matt deftly swung his arm into the guy's stomach. "Stupid bitch!" the attacker wheezed.

A third guy grabbed Matt in a headlock to let his accomplice take a swing. He threw his head back to knock the attacker out, but just as the grip loosened around Matt's neck, a fourth man gagged him with a handkerchief soaked in some drug. Matthew unwittingly inhaled, felt his mind go numb, then black. His body collapsed on the sidewalk face down, and his attackers gathered round.

"The little bitch gave me a bloody nose!" growled the man who Matt head-butted.

The man who was punched in the stomach began searching Matthew's pockets. After finding his wallet and finding its contents satisfactory, he realized something. "Fuck, man. This aint a chick," he spat.

Another kicked the body to turn it around. "What, a faggot?"

"Lemme see," the man with the handkerchief grabbed Matt's hair to see his face. "He still looks pretty good though. If he looks like a chick then he's just asking for it," he stared at the boy's face for a little longer before cracking a grin, "Why don't we give 'im a try?"

* * *

Gilbert drummed his fingers against the countertop. "Hey Tino, don't you think Matt's taking a little too long?" The Finn looked up at the clock and back at Gilbert. "How long has it been?"

"It's been an hour and a half. Going to the car doesn't take that long," Gilbert answered. He felt guilty for almost forgetting the scientist. He lost track of time after seeing some bar buddies and having a couple drinks. For some reason he was being especially loud and obnoxious, as if he wanted to remove thoughts of a certain scientist occupying his mind.

"D' y' th'nk h' r'n aw'y?" the incomprehensible Swede inquired.

Gilbert frowned, "No, he wouldn't do that. I'll go find him."

"Are you okay to go out? You've had quite a few drinks," Tino called as he was leaving.

He shot the Finn a sympathetic look, "C'mon Tino, you know the awesome me needs more than that to get drunk."

* * *

The constraints tightened around Matthew's wrists as they dragged him into their van. The pain kept him in a half-conscious state, and his mind flashed back to Siberia and then a similar instance in high school. The memory made him sick.

_The room echoed with the bang of a body being thrown against the lockers. Shouts and insults were directed at a pale figure on the ground, the obvious target of the abuse. _

_Somehow, kids at school found out that Matthew Williams was only attracted to men, and in their small conservative school, the news spread like wildfire. Many were generally apathetic or tolerant of the issue, but there were those who held it with disdain. And those people bullied Matthew constantly._

_Sometime during the winter of Matt's second year, he stayed at school really late. Hockey practice went into overtime, and it was Matt's turn to clean up and organize the equipment room. He was alone when they came in. They reeked of alcohol and swayed back and forth in their drunken stupors, slurring insults and curses. "Come heerree ya' homoo… Letssshow you how real men doeet." They laughed._

_Matthew ran to the door only to find it locked. "Don' ruunn fromuss," one of them drawled, "Youu liikethis dontchaa?" Their drunken states made them stupid – and strong. They beat him, insulted him, and then ravaged him. _

The drug made his body limp. He felt his clothes being ripped off and the body heat of the three or four men in their van. Matt couldn't stop the tears that fell down his face or the moans that escaped his gagged throat. It was too dark to see their faces, and Matt's drugged mind didn't help either. They reeked of alcohol, just like the ones in his memory, panting heavily as they took turns violating his body. Matt closed his eyes in defeat; only wishing that it would end sooner.

* * *

Gilbert walked to car and peered through the windows. Matthew's phone was still on the passenger seat, meaning he never made it to the car. "_Scheiße_," he muttered under his breath.

He backtracked to the bar and saw a glint of metal by an alley – they were his keys. By the time Gilbert found him, Matt was lying next to a garbage bin naked and abandoned. The perpetrators were nowhere in sight. Gilbert let out a slew of curses in German and kneeled down beside the boy.

"Matt? Matt, wake up. What the hell happened?" Gilbert demanded. He held back his voice attempting to control his anger.

The boy slowly opened his eyes to see Gilbert yelling at him. He immediately curled up and tried to push the other man away. "Go away! Don't come any closer," he rasped. Gilbert ignored the boy's orders and wrapped his jacket around the pale figure.

"No! Don't look at me!" Matt pleaded, tears springing from his eyes. He tried to push Gilbert away but the drugs in his system made him weak. Gilbert grabbed Matt's wrists and noticed the cuts left by the constraints.

The Prussian asked through clenched teeth, "Who did this to you?"

Matthew looked at Gilbert with glazed eyes before losing consciousness and falling into his arms.

* * *

Matthew woke up to the sound of a dog barking.

"Shh… Hanatamago. Don't bother him!" Tino scolded. "I'll just leave this here okay, Gilbert?" He laid down a pitcher of water and some towels and then picked up the dog with the strange name.

Matt groaned, his head still hazy. "W-what happened…?"

"You tell us. Gilbert came in through the back, carrying you in his arms with only a jacket around your shoulders. We're in our condo above the bar," Tino explained. He was worried for Matt, but he had left Berwald tending the bar himself. "We still have customers downstairs so call if you need anything!"

They watched Tino leave and climb down the staircase to the bar below. "Oh_," _Matt suddenly remembered. The aches he felt all over his body brought back the painful experience and tears welled up in his eyes. He turned his face away from Gilbert and muttered, "Nothing. Some guys just mugged me."

Gilbert stared hard at Matthew before saying, "Bullshit. What the hell happened?"

"They jumped me and took my clothes," he lied, face still turned away, tears streaming.

"_VERDAMMTE_, WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO YOU!" Matt finally looked at Gilbert, taken aback by the outburst. He'd never seen Gilbert angry before, and the look in his red eyes terrified him. They screamed murder.

"How could you even say this is nothing! You call a few guys raping you '_nothing'? _Is this what you thought every time someone did you in Siberia?_"_

Gilbert had decided to give Matthew a bath after carrying him upstairs to get rid of the blood. He didn't realize the extent of the boy's injuries until he saw him under the bright fluorescent light. A beating alone did not cause the cuts and bruises on his face, legs, and abdomen.

"Well what else could I do? I'm tied up, gagged, and then drugged to helplessness! Do you know how humiliating it is to be raped by other men? What else can I do but pretend it didn't happen?" Matthew screeched. As he yelled, he thought of what had happened in high school as well as Siberia. "How could I possibly tell anyone what they did without looking like an idiot?" His voice broke and he continued sobbing.

Gilbert reflexively grabbed the crying boy and held him close. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let you go alone." He tightened his hold and in his arms felt Matthew shake his head.

"Do you know who did this to you? Do you have any idea at all?"

Matthew pulled away from Gilbert's arms and shook his head again, still shocked by Gilbert's apparent anger and concern.

"_Verdammte! _Damn Bastards. Fuck them all! I'll beat them to a pulp!_" _ Gilbert punched the wall. Matt cringed at the sound of bones cracking.

"Gilbert, stop! I'm fine. Thanks for sticking up for me. I really do appreciate it. But I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you," Matthew insisted.

"Mattie–" Gilbert began. Did he forget that he was a trained assassin? A couple of street thugs couldn't even scratch him.

"You're a good friend," he interrupted, "Thanks for coming to get me. This is the second time you saved me, you know?" Matthew smiled and then cringed from the bruises on his face. "I'm sorry… you must feel disgusted by me," Matt faltered, "You probably won't look at me the same…" his voice trailed off as the fatigue finally caught up.

"You _are_ an idiot," Gilbert pulled the drowsy boy closer. "Disgust is the last thing on my mind." Matthew fell asleep before he heard the last sentence.

"_WHAT HAPPENED?" Alfred exclaimed, "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?" But despite his countless questions and protests, Matthew refused to tell his brother what had happened and who did it. This didn't stop the hero however. The next week, Al was suspended for hospitalizing some upperclassman._

"_Al?" Matthew whispered, crawling into his older brother's bed the same way he did when they were children. "Yeah?" his brother said, moving over so that they could both fit. _

"_Thank you," Matt said, facing his brother in bed. He had heard the reason why Alfred was suspended. _

_Alfred grinned under the dim moonlight, "I am a hero who fights for truth and justice, Mattie. It's no problem at all." And just like children, they fell asleep beside each other._

_I shouldn't have let him go alone, _Gilbert kept thinking. Even knowing he wasn't at fault, he still felt guilty. He laid down Matthew on the bed and brushed his hair away from his face. Gilbert made a motion to leave when something tugged his sleeve. "Don't go…" Matthew said in his sleep.

Gilbert stood there disputing his options when he too gave in to tiredness. "Move over then."

He lay down next to the boy who snuggled closer. Gilbert breathed in the scent of Matthew's hair before falling into his first dreamless sleep in years.

Sometime later, Tino and Berwald came in to check up on Matthew only to see him and Gilbert facing each other in deep slumber. Gilbert had unconsciously draped his arm over Matthew's slight figure, and Matthew was pressed close to Gilbert's chest, safe and warm.

"Oh my," Tino giggled, bringing his hand over his mouth in surprise.

Berwald stepped in, saw the scene, and quickly stepped out. He returned shortly afterwards with a camera and began to take pictures. "Berwald!" Tino exclaimed.

"I's c'te," he stated simply. Tino stared at them sleeping for a few more moments before shrugging his shoulders in acceptance.

"Alright, you've taken enough pictures. Let's leave them alone now," he ordered gently, taking Berwald's arm and dragging him towards the door.

The Swede didn't put up any resistance. He slipped his arm around the smaller man's waist and said, "I w'nt t' d' th't t'o." Normally, Tino would get flustered and begin to protest. But to his own surprise, as well as Berwald's, he said, "Okay."

* * *

The morning after was filled with confusion, screams, and then some clarifications. Matthew made Gilbert promise not to tell anyone what had happened. His injuries were from a bar fight and that was that.

Sometime later, there was an article in the newspaper about some drug dealers exposed after being found, beaten, and tied up to lampposts on the freeway. Matthew asked Gilbert about it, but he said he knew nothing of the issue.

They never found out about the pictures until a long while after. "One day they'll look back at it and laugh," Tino told Berwald. "Mm…" the stoic man agreed.

* * *

And for clarification, this happens _before _Matt tells Gilbert-dearest that he's gay. Sorry this is kinda late. I had a hard time writing this chapter…

While writing this, I realized the Matt/Alfred relationship is quite complex. Oh what will I doo… On another note, I'm looking back at my past author's notes and realize how childish I sound. How embarrassing...


	9. Chapter 9

Author Notes: Ummm I think… I'm going to write a lemon next chapter. Y'all won't mind right? I hope… Aww I'm nervous I've never written one before… :\ It should be fun?

So! Super important chapter this one hehe. I didn't edit it though so please forgive me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or My Life With You, both mangas belong to their respective owners.

**Chapter 9**

* * *

"Prussia!" he heard his brother's voice over the comm's unit. It sounded odd. "Prussia, can you hear me? Is everyone alright?" Ah that's what it was: panicked. His brother's voice sounded panicked.

He turned his head with difficulty to look at France. The other was unconscious, and a big gash on his forehead covered his face with blood. Prussia tried to move only to feel a sharp pain in his arm and realize it was broken. He saw the jeep a few yards away and figured they must have flown out of their seats when they fell off the cliff.

"I'm okay," a pain shot through his arm again, "France is unconscious," he rasped, somehow breathing was difficult. _Some of my ribs must be broken too, _he thought. "I don't know about the others," he and France should have been the closest to the bomb. Hopefully his warning had given them enough time to escape.

"I'll take care of them," was there relief in his brother's voice? "Gilbert, you need to get to the shade, it's almost midday." _How long have I been unconscious? _Gilbert wondered. They infiltrated the base sometime after midnight and expected to complete the mission before the sun rose. But he saw the sky was light, and the cliff's shadow protected him and France from the harsh sun. "Just rescue me before I burn," he told his brother. "Gilbert, I'm serious it's going to be one-hundred seventeen degrees over there. "

"Fuck this desert," he wheezed. Gilbert's vision turned hazy and it was getting harder to breathe. _Am I going to die here?_

* * *

The mission had failed. It was a complete failure. The team knew it was a trap and prepared for the worst. What they didn't expect was an abandoned base – and a couple kilos of explosives. And it was all because of that man.

"_Hello, _Prussia," _the voice recording laughed. It was a very distinct laugh that could only come from one person. Gilbert shivered. Their team had infiltrated the base, but had met no resistance. There weren't any guards, security alarms, nothing. Gilbert entered what should have been the main command room, and that had triggered one of the screens to blink to life._

"_Surprised? If you're listening to this then you must be stupider than I thought," the screen flickered from blue to black during the recording. "_Prussia," _it said again, "no one escapes me, no one." There the sound turned static before continuing, "and no one," there was another pause, "steals from me." Gilbert was shaking now. "You will give it back. And if not," his distinctive laugh rumbled through the speakers, "Well, you wouldn't want to know what would happen, da?"_

_The recording stopped and was replaced by an automated message. "Self destruction in three minutes." The screen blinked and showed a timer. Gilbert looked wildly around the room and realized all the computers were linked to explosives._

Gilbert winced in pain as he tried to move closer to Francis. His partner had reacted quickly enough to Prussia's sudden command to evacuate and was waiting outside with a stolen jeep by the time Prussia met him. They had tried to place as much distance as possible between themselves and the bomb, but they didn't make it far enough. The impact from the explosion caused the jeep to swerve out of control and they tumbled over a steep cliff.

He gave up trying to move now, the pain was too much and he was so _tired. _He lay on the ground looking up at the increasingly brightening sky. If they didn't move, the sun and heat would kill them before any injuries could. * His mind drifted away and landed on a particular face, one with deep violet eyes and a kind smile. Thoughts ran and wandered and turned into a jumble of musings and memories.

_I still remember the day you decided to be with me, the time you came up to me and told me I was your hero. I didn't know that it was a subtle love confession. I wish I could have said something then._

_Do you know? The only reason I go into battle is to prove myself. If I had told you that then, would you still think of me the same?_

_I didn't know what to do at that time. Maybe if I said something then, I would not have any regrets._

_I had fully intended to keep that promise to you. But I don't know if I will be able to anymore._

_Perhaps if I had said goodbye, if I had realized my feelings sooner, if I had just _known_... I wouldn't feel such regret._

_I wanted to know everything about you. I was stupid for not asking you what I wanted to know most._

_I should have held you that time. I don't want to die without knowing the feeling of you in my arms._

_I think I love him. _Gilbert looked up and saw a silhouette against a gold and crimson sky. It was yelling something, but he couldn't hear it. He saw them, violet eyes. But there were tears. _Don't cry, _he thought. He wanted to reach up and wipe away the tears, but all feeling had gone from his arms. _Since when did I want to hold you- _he wondered before the world turned black.

* * *

Gilbert woke up to find himself in a hospital room with a terrible headache. His only major injuries were a broken arm and a few broken ribs. The impact of the fall only left a minor concussion. He called the nurse and asked to see his brother before going back to sleep.

He dreamt of something that happened sometime after the bar incident. He was still getting to know Matthew back then.

"_Welcome back, Gilbert! Good job on the mission," Matthew praised. They were in his lab. Gilbert decided to take a nap on the couch because the barracks were apparently too noisy. "How are you?"_

"_I feel like crap," the soldier retorted, covering his face with his arm. Matt was startled to hear the contempt in his voice. "I do everything I'm ordered to do: where to go, when to move, who to shoot… it's fucking pointless."_

"_Hey," Matt soothed, "I wasn't assigned to that mission so I don't know the details," he placed his hand on Gilbert's arm and pulled him up, "but I know it definitely wasn't pointless." He moved towards the door, "Come on, I think you need some fresh air."_

_They walked through a sort of park that been cultivated for research purposes inside the base. It was nearing the end of summer so there weren't many flowers, but the trees still had their leaves and provided adequate shade. A slight breeze flowed through the air as well. _

"_Isn't it nice there's a place like this here?" Matthew asked to a silent Gilbert. They sat down on a bench and enjoyed the relative peace. "It's days like this that I remember just how wonderful the world really is." It seemed evident that the silverette wouldn't talk so Matt continued to ramble on, "No matter how bad things get, the sun will always rise and life moves on. Isn't that wonderful." Matthew smiled while he was talking, and looked up at the sky._

_Gilbert kept his eyes on Matt, _This kid was imprisoned in Serbia, witnessed the death of all his colleagues, and then raped by his captors. He had to watch all his comrades die by the very weapon he had invented. And he can still smile? _He realized then just how strong the violet-eyed boy truly was._

When he woke up again, his brother was sitting by his bedside. He told Gilbert about what had happened to the others. Alfred, who had been called for back up, was the one who flew in to rescue him and Francis. Apparently Matthew had begged to be taken along. Antonio had been close enough to Lars' helicopter and they were able to escape the worst of the impact. Francis was still unconscious and in intensive care. No one else was injured. Gilbert then told his brother everything that had happened during the mission, including _that man's_ ominous message. Ludwig's eyes darkened as Gilbert recounted the story. They heard the door and turned to see Matthew walk in with a small bouquet of tulips.

"Oh, I'm sorry was I interrupting something?" he was already inching out the door.

"No it's fine, I was just about to leave," Ludwig stood up and said low enough so only Gilbert could hear, "We'll continue this discussion when you get better." The invalid frowned, but nodded anyway.

"It's okay, I can come back later," Mattie insisted.

Ludwig smiled then, "Please don't worry about it." And he left the room.

"So, how are you?" he asked, moving to find a container for the flowers. He still felt guilty interrupting.

"Oh you know, few broken bones and a slight concussion. I'm perfect!" he joked. He watched Matthew carefully arranging the flowers and thought how much they suited him. Thanks to his near-death experience he had finally realized his feelings for the scientist and currently could not take his eyes off him.

"I'm glad," he mused and smiled to the flowers. Matthew secretly hoped Gilbert had been unconscious when he had rescued him. Looking back, he probably looked like an idiot crying and screaming and would rather not have the other remember something so embarrassing.

Gilbert sat silently before smirking, "I was just thinking. Do you remember that time you asked me about finding true love?"

Matthew stopped arranging the flowers, "You remember that?" his face turned red.

"Of course I do," that silly smirk was still painted on his face, "You weren't referring to yourself that time were you?"

The other sat down and resigned himself to an explanation. "I wasn't. I just thought that if you found someone to love then you'd be happy."

"And why is my happiness any concern of yours?" Gilbert was baiting him.

Matt frowned and looked at the smirking patient. "Because we're friends, and I want you to be happy. Anyway," he quickly changed the subject. "it took me some time to smuggle this out, but I think I know who's responsible for your failed mission." Matthew pulled a file out of his lab coat.

"Don't bother, I know who did it," Gilbert's voice turned cold and his smirk disappeared. "You really shouldn't get yourself involved in this, Mattie."

Matthew ignored the last comment and asked, "What do you know about him?"

Gilbert's gaze became distant. "He's the guy in my nightmares." He had told Matthew about how his nightmares kept him from sleeping. But he had never told him their content.

"It happened way before I was in special ops. I was a field agent gathering intelligence, but I had been captured." Gilbert grimaced at the memory.

_"Kill him, he's no use to us."_

_Gilbert's body was bruised and bloody. His arms were chained above his head to the ceiling. He gritted his teeth and stared at the gun in the man's hand_. Damnit, if you're going to kill me do it already! Just kill me!_ Gilbert's eyes screamed what his mouth could not._

_"Ah, don't kill him yet. I'm sure we can get some information out of him, da?" the biggest man in the room asked. The smile his on his face was deceiving, even with a ridiculous looking water pipe in his hand, the giant __looked positively evil._

"After a week I finally talked. I told them _everything_. Anything and everything they wanted to know. But I was rescued, and they got blown up before they could use the information I leaked." His face was carefully blank now. And his voice was oddly calm. "I only found out recently that he survived. Ivan Braginski," he said the name with a voice like ice.

"Ivan Braginski…" Matthew repeated and had a thoughtful look on his face. "I think I've heard that name before. Back when I was a prisoner in Siberia. I'll do some research!" Matt got up suddenly filled with a sense of urgency. "What?" he asked when he noticed the strange look on Gilbert's face.

"Matthew, did you listen to anything I just said? I was a coward and a traitor who betrayed my country. I talked when I should have just let them kill me."

Violet eyes stared into red ones, "You're human, Gilbert. You're flawed and imperfect like everyone else. It doesn't make you any less of a man." Matthew reached for his lab coat and prepared to leave.

Gilbert looked at his hands now. Well, the hand that wasn't in a cast. "But doesn't that make you hate me?" The nightmares scared him, yes. They woke him up at night and left him in a cold sweat. But it wasn't just the fear; his dreams made him hate himself. They made him remember what he _had_ done. And tortured him with what he _should_ have done. They filled him with self-loathing and humiliation. He was so thankful that their hide out had blown up and none of what he had said escaped. But his shame prevented him from telling anyone. Not even Francis and Antonio knew. He only told his brother, and even then it was at least a year after.

Matthew stood silent before muttering, "I love you for all your imperfections." Gilbert's eyes widened. "It makes me happy to know that you actually have faults, you know? You aren't some perfect human being," Matthew's voice grew quieter and quieter while his face grew redder and redder. "I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me these things."

There was an awkward pause before Matthew burst out, "I gotta go, see you later!" he slammed the door and ran away.

Red eyes stared at the door while Gilbert's mind processed what had just happened. _A love confession… He definitely just confessed to me. _Gilbert covered his face with his good hand and felt it heating up. _My best friend just confessed to me. _He ran his hand threw his hair and allowed himself a grin.

* * *

Pffftttt. I made Gilbert so cheesy. I'm funny. Jk.

*I actually don't know if that's true, but let's pretend it's like in _The Chronicles of Riddick _when they're at that one planet where sun=death okay? Okay.

**totally took the 'full dress uniform' info from Wikipedia


	10. Chapter 10

Author Notes: Yay for two chapters within 24 hours! I know I'm one of those authors who update sporadically and that is all very frustrating, but thank you so much for still reading my fanfic and staying with me x[

In other news: nopenopenope no lemon, not possible. Only implied romantic fluffy stuff.

Also, let's pretend Antonio is half-Mexican half-Spanish so it's okay for him to say "ese"

Disclaimer: honestly, they're never going to be my characters so why bother ;-;

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Matthew said "see you later," but after that first visit, he never came back to Gilbert's room. Everyone else had apparently received _multiple_ visits from said scientist, and that pissed Gilbert off. _After confessing he has the audacity to avoid me! _He thought to himself. Actually, he wasn't sure how to face him either.

He didn't have a lot of time to think about it too much because his brother kept him busy with physical therapy, recovery training, and other things. Gilbert was discharged after a month, and by that time he had made a decision.

_Matthew rarely says things he doesn't mean. And for him to confess must have taken a lot of effort. I'll have to face him eventually… _Gilbert ran these rationalizations through his head over and over while walking towards Matthew's lab.

"Hey, Gilbert!" Matthew greeted him normally, which should be odd since he'd been avoiding him for a few weeks already. "Congratulations on your discharge!" he stood in front of his bookshelf reading some graphs or statistics. "Why are you all dressed up?"

Gilbert wore his 'full dress uniform,' which is considered the most formal military uniform only worn at official receptions, ceremonies and other special occasions. "I'm meeting with the person I love and want to look good," he smirked, "Well, more than I usually do."

A shadow passed over Matthew's face before he smiled, "Oh? Who is it?" His smile fell when Gilbert grabbed his hands. He took a step back only to find himself trapped between the bookshelf and Gilbert.

"Matthew Williams, I'm in love with you."

Time suspended and seconds passed like hours. Matthew's head was still trying to process and comprehend what the man in front of him just said.

He stood there gaping in shock until finally, "You're kidding."

Gilbert's eye twitched. "Do I look like I'm kidding?" he asked, obviously annoyed.

The blonde looked away, "Don't make fun of me, Gilbert. That's cruel."

"Hey! Did you mean it when you said you loved me?"

Blood rushed to Matthew's cheeks, "You're straight. It's not supposed to matter if I meant it!" He tried to run away now, but Gilbert held his arms firmly in place. "Let go!"

"Matthew, do you still love me?" Gilbert had never been so earnest. Matthew felt the weight of his stare and looked away from the red eyes that were fixated on him.

"I never expected you to like me back!" he was still trying to pry Gilbert's hands away. "I'm supposed to be your friend!"

"You _are_ my friend, and now I lo-" Matthew finally released a hand and placed it over Gilbert's mouth.

"Stop! Your time at the hospital made you delusional. You're confusing friendship with love. Now stop messing around!"

Gilbert grabbed the hand over his mouth and held both of Matthew's wrists with one hand. His cast was removed the other day, and he wrapped that arm around Matthew's waist to keep him from escaping.

"No," his grip tightened and Matthew winced, "I'm not messing around. Why did you confess if you didn't expect a reply?"

Matthew refused to look at him, "You were depressed that time so I had to tell you. I couldn't just stand by and watch you wallow in self-pity. I had to let you know that…" his voice trailed off and his face flushed red.

That did it. "Mattie, you're so cute," Gilbert pulled him closer and moved the hand from Matt's waist to the back of his neck.

"Gilbert, let go!" Matthew protested even more now, but Gilbert was determined to keep him in place. "Stop i-" his words were cut short when Gilbert's mouth met his and a skilled tongue coaxed a reply.

For a moment, Matthew lost his composure and kissed Gilbert back. They fought for dominance in the kiss, and he let himself be taken in by the pleasure before he came to and began struggling again. "Mmm-mph!" he muffled trying to close his mouth and turn his face away. It only made Gilbert grip tighter and deepen the kiss. Only after biting Gilbert's bottom lip did he finally let go.

"Well that was kinky," he rubbed his thumb over the bite and glanced up. "You're turned on aren't you?" Matthew blushed furiously and pulled his lab coat tighter around as if to hide his body's response.

"What the hell, Gilbert! Stop playing with my feelings! You know I like you so why would you do that? If you want a sex friend then forget it. Our friendship is fine without you having to do something like this. I was content to just stay by your side. Why do you have make it so complicated," Matthew fumed. Gilbert was taken aback by Matthew's response. It definitely was _not_ what he expected. "I don't want anything to change," Matthew continued after calming down some.

Gilbert sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Fine," he conceded. "But I'm not the type to give up." His gaze steadied and his red eyes met Matthew's violet ones, "I _will _mak_e _you mine."

* * *

"And then he ran off," Gilbert sighed as he finished recounting the story to his friends.

"First of all," Francis coughed to get their attention, "you tried to jump my _Mathieu?" _he yelled. If he could, he would have punched Gilbert. But he was still bedridden, and Gilbert purposefully placed himself far away from any hurtful blows his friend might inflict.

"Give him some time, _ese,_"Antonio offered, "maybe it's hard for him to believe that you're serious."

"That's what I don't understand! I told him so many times that I was serious," said Gilbert, very exasperated and very frustrated. It had been a few weeks since Gilbert's confession, and Matthew had been avoiding him. Again. He even went so far as to move in with Alfred so Gilbert couldn't make a house call. "He won't talk to me and it pisses me off!" Gilbert complained.

"I think he just doesn't want to ruin your friendship. Love almost always complicates things," Francis said after resuming his usual "big brother" persona.

Antonio grinned, "Are you speaking from experience?" He received a wink in reply.

"So we're just going to stay friends and keep this awkward sexual tension between us?" the silverette groaned, "That's fucked up."

"My dear Gilbert, you must show your sincerity. Make _Mathieu_ see how honest and true you are about your feelings! Take him out to dinner, recite poetry, and sing him a song. You remember how to play the piano don't you?"

"I haven't played in ages… no wait, I'm not going to play the piano!" Gilbert groaned again, "He's driving me crazy."

* * *

"He's driving me crazy," Matthew dropped his head on the table and left it there. Outside, the sky burned an orange-red that signaled late afternoon.

"Well you keep avoiding him," Alfred said, eyes turned towards the tv. "And you make _me_ send him away every time he comes over."

Actually, Alfred was angrier with Matthew than Gilbert. He thought that Matthew should face the guy already; he disliked his brother's passive aggressive approach. He'd seen his brother suffer from his sexual orientation in high school and was vaguely aware of some failed relationships he had in college. His brother, it seemed, was doomed when it came to love. Of course Alfred tried vehemently to keep Gilbert away the first week; why would he tolerate an asshole who could break his little brother's heart? But he was damn persistent, and one day, Alfred caved.

He stood outside the door and asked Gilbert seriously what his intentions were. Alfred didn't expect the other to be so blunt and outright declare his love. He remained skeptic, but that feeling chipped away with each visit from the silver-haired, red-eyed man. _He likes you and you like him. How is that complicated? _So when Matthew complained for the umpteenth time, he ignored him.

"I don't know what to do. I wanted to stay friends but I can't even face him now… Al, are you even listening to me?" When his brother didn't respond, Matt sighed and got up. "I'm going to the lab," he announced. "They should be on a mission right now…" he muttered to himself as prepared to leave. Alfred knew for a fact that Gilbert's special ops team did _not_ have a mission, but said nothing as he watched Matthew walk out the door.

* * *

Sure enough, Matthew met face to face with the silver-haired red-eyed man right as he stepped onto base. "Hi, Gilbert," he tried saying casually and walked past him.

"Aw c'mon Mattie, how long are you going to be like this?" he followed the scientist who seemed determined to out-walk him.

"Until you remember that you're straight and things go back to normal."

"Hey! I only feel this way towards you, I couldn't get it up for any other guy."

"And that's suppose to make me feel better?" Matt swiveled around and stopped Gilbert in his tracks. "Do you want to sleep with me that bad?"

Gilbert smirked and leaned down slightly to meet Matt's eyes, "Aren't you the same?"

Matthew pushed Gilbert away, "No!" He turned and walked away at a faster pace. Gilbert just sighed and continued walking behind the scientist.

"How long are you going to follow me?"

"Until you accept me."

"I thought you had a mission today."

"I'm on leave this whole week. So I'm going to keep following you," he grinned, "Technically I'm a trained stalker, you know?"

"You're terrible. Is that how you found out where I lived?" Matthew said while typing in a security code.

Gilbert held the door open, "I'll walk you to work and back home every day,"

"Please don't." They had finally reached Matthew's lab.

"C'mon Mattie, why do you keep avoiding me?"

"Because I'm scared of what you might do," Matt calmly replied as he took off his trench coat in favor of the lab coat.

"I'm not going to rape you!" Gilbert exclaimed, following suit and removing his jacket.

"Says the one who forcibly kissed me last time."

"Ugh… I apologized already. I promise I won't do it again," Gilbert whined and plopped himself on the couch.

"I think you should go to the bar and find a woman to spend the night with," said the scientist as he sat down at his desk to turn on the computer.

Gilbert placed a cigarette to his lips and fumbled with the lighter, "I tried that already."

_That's a surprise. _Matt stood up and took the lighter, "Let me." Gilbert inhaled deeply and slowly breathed out the smoke. "Thanks," he said.

"What happened?" Matt was curious now; he sat himself next to Gilbert on the couch.

"I slept with her, but the whole time I could only think of you." Gilbert brought the cigarette to his lips again. "I said your name when I came," he continued.

At this point, Matthew covered his face with his hands to hide the heat that rushed to his face. "Oh maple, stop talking please. Since when did you become so fixated on me."

_Be sincere, _Gilbert thought before replying, "When I was waiting to die in the desert, all I could think about was you. Your face kept appearing in my mind and all of sudden you were there, crying and yelling at me not to die."

Matthew thought it impossible for his face to get any redder. "You promised to come back…" his voice in its natural whisper-like tone.

Opaque smoke climbed into the air as Gilbert spoke, "Exactly. When I realized how I felt, I didn't want to die anymore – Argh, I'm not making any sense," he ran his cigarette-free hand through his hair, "I just want to make you happy."

"I am happy just being friends."

Gilbert shook his head and took another long drag of his cigarette. "I'm in love with you, Mattie. That's not going to change."

"You can't guarantee that. For all you know it might just be a phase." Matthew relaxed into the couch. "I don't want you to like me if it's only going to be temporary."

"So basically," Gilbert reoriented himself on the couch to face Matthew, "you're scared I'll break your heart."

"That's not unreasonable to think."

"It is, because I promise I'll never do anything to hurt you."

"You always promise me things."

"And I haven't broken one yet have I?"

Matthew slowly sat up. "So you promise you'll stay with me?" His voice remained low and quiet.

"I promise," Gilbert grinned. As he turned to put out his cigarette on the nearby ashtray, Matthew reached over and kissed him.

Gilbert's surprise lasted less than half a second before he snickered into the kiss, "You started it this time," he wrapped his arms around the scientist and moved him to his lap. "I'm not going to stop," he murmured before nipping Matthew's lip, effectively granting entrance into the other's mouth and commencing a wrestle of tongues. Gilbert held Matthew's waist with one arm while the other trailed up his inner thigh. Matthew gasped, "Wait, let's do this at home…"

Gilbert broke the kiss to whisper in Matthew's ear, "No." before biting down and eliciting another gasp. There were no more protests after that. Gilbert left a trail of kiss marks along a pale neck, nipping and sucking as he went along. His hands crept under Matthew's shirt, memorizing the other's slight form and all the while pulling him ever so closer until he lay beneath him.

Matthew gazed up breathless to see an abdomen that could have been sculpted from marble. Gilbert was peeling off his shirt and Matt tried to do the same until strong arms held him down. "I want to do it," he breathed. It wasn't long before their clothes were thrown haphazardly throughout the lab and they were moaning each other's names.

Day fell and the night brought the moon, bright and unobstructed by clouds. The moonlight filtered through the lab window and bathed the two panting figures in its soft glow. Gilbert's hair shone like spun silver under the light, and glistened as he thrust back and forth. The soft light exposed numerous scars Matthew didn't know existed; they crossed his arms, chest, and back like claw marks. Gilbert bared his teeth at the tightness that enveloped him and his eyes burned crimson with hunger and passion. _A beautiful beast,_ was Matthew's fleeting thought before he cried in pleasure. A beautiful beast indeed, consuming and drowning him. _But, _Matthew reflected as he reached up to bring their lips together, _I don't mind being eaten by you._

* * *

Alfred went to an airforce academy and Matthew went to another far-off university so that's why Alfred-dearest couldn't protect his baby brother from evil college boys /shot


End file.
